Essendon were pathetic. Again. Disorganised, confused and uncertain, they played without system or confidence. Again.

St Kilda played well, but this was the same side that struggled home by a point against the Gold Coast Suns. The Saints looked better than last week, but Essendon too needed to be a lot better.

Talking book company Audible has announced Audible for Fish, a three-second book audiobook for your finned friends.

And from the Bureau of Meteorology, a new rainbow:

April Fool's Day was so much easier when they just gladwrapped the toilet seat ...

In breaking news for the Mornington Peninsula an international consortium will announce a 50-storey casino that will "blend seamlessly" into the coastal environment at Frankston. High-speed ferry services will deliver punters straight from Geelong and Docklands.

In other news, April Fools! It's a dangerous day to be a journalist.

Updating the trains and roads:

• South Gippsland Highway is closed in both directions at Browns Road after a crash in Clyde. Not certain if it'll be open in time for the morning peak.
• Major delays are clearing on the Hurstbridge line after an earlier overhead power fault near Macleod.
• There are also minor delays on the Glen Waverley, Lilydale, Sunbury and Upfield lines. And they're on the buses on the Frankston line, as works kick off on a month-long construction blitz for the Metro Tunnel.

A giant billboard visible across the city from Carlton has won approval in VCAT. Is this too much, or just part of city living? Join the conversation at our Facebook page (hit refresh if you can't see the post below):

The Age's David Wroe has spoken to a Sydney tradesman who joined Islamic State in Syria more than three years ago and is now detained by Kurdish forces after the fall of the notorious terrorist group has begged Australia to bring him and his family home.

Mohammed Noor Masri, 26, said he's prepared to face a lengthy jail sentence in Australia for his "mistake" but wants his pregnant wife, who is also Australian, and their three young children, brought out of Syria.

It's Target word time. The very thought of unscrambling nine letters almost tpped us over the edge this morning, but you can give it a go.

Today's letters are: E O F A P T T O L. Send your answers via email or Twitter. We'll print the names of the first three winners.

Last Friday's solution was NEGLIGENT.

They're not just following weather movements at the bureau. Check out what bats look like on the radar:

We're giving away tickets to Circus Oz's new kids' show. Head to our Facebook page for more details. (The post is embedded below. If you can't see it, hit refresh. There are ... issues.)

More than 50 firefighters are at the scene of a restaurant fire on Road Tower Road in Dandenong South. Crews were called to the Star Entertainment Centre just before 4am. A smoke alert has been issued for surrounding areas. The roof of the building, which also houses a pool hall, has partially collapsed.