One day is never enough to celebrate women's day and hence many are against the idea of celebrating it. But for those who want to celebrate the spirit of womanhood, they need to celebrate a woman's freedom from stereotypes, expectations, idolisation and sacrifice.
Instead of celebrating a woman for her roles as a mother, wife, daughter and a sister, we need to celebrate her as an individual, a person, in isolation of her relationships. Michelle Obama and Barack Obama went out for dinner when he was still the President of the United States. When seated, they realised Michelle Obama and the owner of the restaurant knew each other. In fact, the owner used to be madly in love with her in their teenage years. When she told the President about it, Mr President teasingly told his First lady that had she married him, she could have been the owner of that lovely restaurant. Michelle Obama's rejoinder that had she married him, he would have been the President of the United States, exuded her confidence.
A woman is saluted for the sacrifices she makes. But why can't she be helped to reduce those sacrifices? Instead of justifying her necessity and ability to multitask, why can't she be given a chance to not multitask? All the constructs aim at making her strive to balance the impossible, why can't she be flawed yet happy? A woman always wants to look beautiful because beauty is her first feminine appeal. Why can't she be made to feel beautiful instead of looking beautiful?
Every woman carries the burden of perfection and righteousness all the time. But she has a right to be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, lazy, fierce, opinionated, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared and impractical. To just be. Without a label. Without any judgmental eyes judging her through the conventional lens. When we talk about the conventional, why not encourage her to do the unconventional – to learn to change a tyre, to fix a gadget or use a drill? And men should learn what's unconventional for them – sewing/stitching/knitting, cooking, ironing. Gender-biased roles need to change. One should learn what's important and helpful instead of segregating tasks based on gender. Life is a celebration. Let's not restrict it to a gender or a day. Every day should be celebrated by one and all. Happy women's day! Happy every day!
Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com