Everyone’s a brand these days. People with children perform aspects of parenthood online. Their kids are always so cute, so bright, so full of witty bon mots. People without children perform in other ways: photos of pets, that dive they took in Thailand, even hanging out with friends. The expression is shiny, teeth ablaze in a smile, no one would guess your feet are killing you.
Later, you'll look at that photo and the memory of exhaustion will be erased, and all that will be left is this idea of having a great night out. Soon, that will become the memory — the performance becomes fact.
The essence of social media is showing off the aspects of yourself you'd like to highlight more. “Pretending,” some people call it, showing off only a curated aspect of your life. But what's wrong with curated? If you tidy up your home for guests, which is an acceptable and expected behaviour, why not tidy up your life when you show it to strangers? “It's not honest,” people argue, and yes, it's not a complete warts-and-all image, but for that, may I gently suggest, turn to real life.
Funny that it's come full circle now. Make up-free selfies and body positivity messages bombard you across feeds. You could be vain, like I am, using the phone’s Beauty Mode. Your chin is pointier, your eyes wider, your skin almost laminated. I am so used to seeing myself in the front-facing camera of my phone that sometimes I'm a little taken aback when I look into the mirror. I'm buying into my own myth. Real life can get a little shocking when you have filter-filled glasses.
Will we soon stop looking at each other except through our gadgets? I engage better with the world when I have access to a keyboard, I am smarter, less apt to break into giggles, and a backspace button means I always get to edit what I say. Why wouldn't I want that? Why wouldn't you? It may not be face-to-face interaction, that stuff that bonds us, but as we live more of our lives online, we have to accept this is “real life” too.
The writer is a Delhi-based author.