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My boyfriend ended a relationship with someone after three years. She was cheating on him and fairly abusive too, so he decided to end it because he couldn’t deal with it anymore. He and I met six months ago and got along really well. Things are great between us, except for the fact that he is still in touch with his ex. She calls him for advice, asks for his opinion on things and has even borrowed money from him, which he has given despite my doubts. I don’t know why he helps her, given how she has treated him. I don’t know if I have a right to question him, because this is a woman I have never even met, but I still feel I should tell him that it makes me uncomfortable. What do I do?
You do have a right to tell him how you feel, of course, and you should, because being honest always helps make a relationship stronger. As for why he helps his ex-girlfriend, may be your boyfriend is a decent human being who doesn’t let someone’s behaviour get in the way of helping them. You don’t know what kind of equation they still share. Why do you assume he has feelings for her? He’s with you, and hasn’t given you any indication of wanting to get back with her, so why not give him the benefit of doubt here? If it bothers you, talk to him, but don’t jump to conclusions without first giving him a chance to explain. Your boyfriend an adult with the ability to make up his own mind? Would you like him to forbid you from something?
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