Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I am a 22-year old guy and have never had a relationship with any girl. I am still single. What should I do to get into a relationship?
— Raghuveer S
There is no clearly defined age at which people choose or happen to get into relationships. They happen when they must, so don’t think of being single as a sign that something is wrong. You may get into a relationship this year, or when you turn 30; it all depends upon when you meet someone who reciprocates how you feel. You can’t assume you will get into a relationship just because your peers and friends are either, because people have different approaches to the idea of love or companionship. I suggest you meet as many new people as you can, and spend time with them to see if you have anything in common with them. Relationships can’t be forced; they simply happen when two people like each other enough.
I broke up with someone three months ago, and still can’t accept the fact that he has moved on. He has a new girlfriend already, while I don’t even feel like meeting people. I thought it would take him a while to start dating again, so this has surprised me a lot. It feels as if our relationship wasn’t as important to him as it was to me, which makes me hate myself for feeling the way I feel. What do I do?
People deal with the end of any relationship differently. If he has moved on already, it is simply because he has been able to put this behind him faster than you have. It doesn’t mean you will be stuck in the past forever and unable to get close to anyone else. Give it time and you will surprise yourself by waking up one morning with a sense of acceptance. Hating yourself for the way someone else feels is not going to help either one of you.
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