Solution for divorce? Counsel students right from college

BENGALURU: Counsellors and psychiatrists in Bengaluru feel that pre-marital counselling for students of colleges will help reduce divorce rates and is the need of the hour. A programme is being planned in Udupi and experts feel that the same is required for the city.

According to Rani Shetty, head of Parihar, a group that helps women and children, 30 per cent of the city’s marital discord cases they come across involve marriages solemnised less than a year earlier.

Colleges have individual counsellors but do not pre-marital schemes as such. “I advise this for couples who have differences during their courtship period. Characteristics  and compatibility can be determined with the help of a third person. Pre-marital counselling will set expectations,” Bhupendra Chaudhry, consultant psychiatrist, Manipal Hospital.

Agreed Dr Venkatesh Babu, psychiatrist, Fortis Hospitals, who said unrealistic expectations are one of the primary reasons couples complain their spouse seems to have changed after marriage. “It is important to understand that a romantic relationship between two individuals would give space to express interests, but post marriage it would compete with priorities and other spheres of life,” he said.

Poor communication between the husband and wife also leads to interpersonal conflicts. “On many occasions, the pair struggle to communicate effectively or express their disagreements. This results in emotional arguments resulting in anger outbursts, impulsive and destructive behaviour and  in some cases, domestic abuse.”

The issue of substance abuse among new couples is also one to be taken seriously as alcohol abuse, in the anticipation of greater sexual satisfaction also result in a lack of control and abusive relationships,which sometimes results in physical assault as well, Dr Babu pointed out.

Work-life balance are common issues
 Dr Babu suggests keeping an eye out on work-life balance.“It is naturally being learnt by observation from childhood that, the household activities are expected out of women. So in effect, the women mostly struggle to find a balance and together with it, the busy city lives hardly leaves any time for quality engagement,” he explained.

lack of empathy
Dr Naveen Jayaram, psychiatrist at Sakraa World Hospital, recently came across a couple who knew each other for six years before marriage. Within three months of being married, the wife went back to her mother’s house. She felt that her husband was too occupied with his work and was not empathetic towards her. Most of the time either one of the couple will have some psychological or personality issues, stresses
Dr Jayaram.