I stopped watching SONA events during the times of Thabo Mbeki – I could not bring myself to watch how politicians were elevating themselves above all of us in the pretext of working for the people. To me this was just an expensive and elitist spectacle, which our taxes could gladly do without – I still feel the same way about the event. Imagine if all those millions were put aside to build schools in this country?

During the Jacob Zuma era, I only caught the commentary on TV, radio and print. In fact I switched media whenever I heard that man’s voice. For one, his oratory skills were pathetic, secondly, his demeanor always suggested a person who was seeing his speech for the first time on the podium at speech making time – the man simply couldn’t be bothered, hence the incoherent way he delivered his “prepared-by-someone-else-without-own-input” speech.

So, it was with trepidation that I watched Cyril Ramaphosa’s #SONA2018 speech. I was more curious about the man and worried sick about the direction in which the country was headed at that point. After all, the man held the future of this country (which was on the edge of a precipice) in his hands. A hell of a lot was riding on this famous speech – therefore I braced myself and watched.

I was not given a warm and fuzzy feeling by this speech, but I did not break down and cry either, which is probably what I would have done if Jacob Zuma was still the president and he was making that speech (he he heee!), I still get the shrills just thinking about Jacob Zuma. But I am digressing.

In typical ANC fashion, #CR17 read through parts of his speech and tried his best to contain the audience. I don’t know who was the most nervous between us, him or I. I was nervous about the country’s future, my future and the future of my children. It is really unhealthy for one political party to hold so much power over its own citizens, democracy or not; this point hit home the day Cyril Ramaphosa made that SONA2018 speech. I hope and pray that my people will wake up to that fact soonest rather than later.

One thing though, something very important, is that after the speech, there was a certain level of calmness in the air. Within me and my circle, some sense of calm descended upon us; I started to see and sense the same in the general atmosphere, in the political, economic and social aspects of our country. It was a bit of a “wait a minute – this man might just be what this country really needs right now”. Gradually, that sense of calmness started to encircle every citizen of this country.

This sense of calmness became truly evident over the days that followed and the rest of the year when the economy started showing signs of recovery. This was when Cyril started going to important places local and abroad and talking about governance reforms – when he signed off on the #StateCapture commission and a host of other commissions. Governance revival started to show signs of kicking back into life – something that died two decades ago; the nation and I appreciated.

The public consultations through the #ThumaMina campaign tended to speak to me and I would say a lot of other people. For the first time in two decades, we were being led by a president we could all be proud of, regardless of whether we are ANC or not. Pride in our president was pride in our country – even though we were still hesitant to give him free reign; I for one will never give any politician free reign with neither my rights, nor my money, nor my emotions.

Therefore, it was with a sense of “continue to give a benefit of the doubt” that I sat down to watch #SONA2019. I was a little bit wary about the EFF because they publicly threatened to disrupt the event because of the Bosasa payment issue, despite it being addressed by the president publicly through the speaker’s office and his cooperation with the Public Protector’s office for their investigation. I was a bit nervous and anxious that it will take us years before we become a nation of decorum.

I intently listened to this speech, indifferent to the ruling party, indifferent to the orator; all I wanted to know was how he and his cohorts in the ANC are planning to move the nation forward. God knows we need to move by leaps and bounds in order to make inroads into the scourge of poverty, unemployment and inequality which the country has been battling to shake off for 25 years. For many years yet, all we had was talk, backed up by very little action plus a whole lot of thieving and looting from the state coffers.

The ANC has messed up, terribly. Them admitting the they have messed up start is only a start; they must also make retribution to the nation and that retribution can only come from them removing any impedances to the growth of this economy, good governance and faithfulness to the country and its citizen; even if that means removing themselves from certain activities and programs. Removing themselves is just high hopes from me – but miracles have happened before; at least Nhlanhla Nene did.

As the speech progressed, I felt slightly comfortable in the feeling that this man not only prepared his own speech, but he also believes in every word he is reading out to us. I got some comfort in the thought that maybe, just maybe he is as patriotic as he claims to be – all indications from his actions throughout the year are that he is patriotic. It’s refreshing to see that we still have politicians amongst us who serve for the sake of serving in the high office.

The speech itself covered all the aspects of our country, our people and our economy – I would have done the same and I think every other politician would have done the same. What was always missing in the past decades was the speech speaking to the orator more than it talks to the audience – I felt that last night. Maybe it’s just me looking for hope in any crevice I can find – but that is also OK with me.

This time around, the distinction was that Ramaphosa seemed to believe in what he was telling us. That alone is good enough for me regarding the speech. Therefore, some hope has been restored for me.

Having said that though – talk is cheap, Mr President. Yes, his actions to date instill trust that he will do the right thing given half a chance; the problem is that he is a deployee of the ANC, one of the most, if not the most corrupt liberation movements on the continent by my own assessments. And that is cause for my consternation.

Good speech or not – I will still not vote for the ANC.