'I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated': Grandmother leaves the internet in stitches after writing her own hilarious obituary
- Sybil Marie Hicks (nee Lyons) passed on February 2 at the age of 82
- The Baysville, Ontario worked with three of her five children to write her own obituary when she was still well
- She affectionately calls her husband a 'horse's a**' and calls out the children she 'tolerated' during life, as well as her 13 grandkids
- The funny piece, which ran in The Hamilton Spectator, ends on a heartfelt note and has speedily charmed the internet
A Canadian mother of five and grandmother of 13 has kept her family laughing even in death — and she's managed to make thousands of people on the internet crack up, too.
Sybil Marie Hicks (nee Lyons) passed on February 2 at the age of 82, but not before working with two of her children to write her own obituary.
Her obit, though, was anything but the sad, staid affair most people expect of a death announcement: In it, she affectionately calls her husband a 'horse's a**,' names the children she 'tolerated' over the years, and quips about the 'smoking' body she got thanks to cremation.
The sassy deceased: Sybil Marie Hicks (nee Lyons) passed on February 2 at the age of 82 and wrote her own funny obituary, which ran in The Hamilton Spectator
'It hurts me to admit it… but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away,' the obituary in The Hamilton Spectator begins.
'I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
'I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's A**".
'I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
'I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac, Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin … grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be.
'I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B — Best Class EVER!
'In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville.
'I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated.
'Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's a**.
'For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this… it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest…
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'Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back,' she concluded
'Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back. Love, Sybil.'
The day after the obituary ran in the paper on February 5, a reader in Ontario shared a picture of it on Reddit — where someone who grew up with Sybil's grandchildren saw it and provided some more details.
Sybil's health declined after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The Dorothy she mentioned in her obituary is an 'old family friend who took care of Sybil' after the diagnosis.
'Through it all, Dorothy and my friend’s grandfather became close,' wrote the Redditor.
As for the quip about Dorothy being her husband's 'special friend,' the Redditor noted that it was 'nothing of malice, or calling him out. Just one human comforting another during an undoubtedly difficult time.'
Later, one of Sybil's own grandchildren — Chloe, who said her name had a typo as 'Choe' in the piece — chimed in.
'THIS IS MY GRANDMA,' she wrote with a heart. 'I am “Choe” andddddd the only grandchild with a typo in her name. RIP to the best grandma anyone could ever ask for. I’m working on that growing up thing.'
