Brother of Parkland shooter Nikolas Cruz reveals his struggle with his bizarre prison relationship with his killer brother who became obsessed with the euthanization of their pet dog
- Zachary Cruz says he carries the burden of loving and hating his older brother, Parkland shooter Nikolas Cruz, every day
- Despite leaving Florida and starting a new life in Virginia, Zachary continues to return for hearings as he realizes time for his brother likely grows short
- In his most recent visit to the prison, Zachary had to ask his fixated brother to drop the subject of their childhood dog being put down
The younger brother of Parkland mass shooter Nikolas Cruz, Zachary, has moved on from his life in Florida, but still maintains a relationship with one of the only family members he has left.
Zachary was one of the first people to see Nikolas after the high school massacre on February 15, 2018, that left 17 dead.
Since then he has found it hard to escape the killing spree that shocked the world, but still speaks to and visits his brother frequently, while he waits to see whether he will receive the death penalty.
He also describes how Nikolas is sometimes fixated on death, and recounts a bizarre moment when the gunman asked about one of their dogs that had been put down.
'I always carry it with me. Every day. There is no forgetting,' Zachary told the Washington Post. 'I'm stuck between loving him and hating him because of what he did.'
Just hours after the slaying, Zachary was seen on camera hugging Nikolas.
Zachary Cruz, the brother of Parkland school shooter, Nikolas Cruz, enters the courtroom for a status hearing on his brother's case on January 8, 2019
Zachary Cruz (left) embraces his older brother Nikolas Cruz (right) during a visit last May
The shooter bursts into tears and starts crying on his shoulder while wearing scrubs and handcuffed to a chair in an interview room.
Eleven months on from the mass shooting, Zachary has been arrested twice, has moved to Virginia and is now working on 'We Isolate No-one' , a 24-hour national anti-bullying hotline for students.
He also regularly travels from Virginia to Florida to watch his brother's hearings, as he is virtually the only family he has left, and sometimes is able to speak to him through video while he is behind bars.
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After court hearings this month, Zachary got a chance to speak with his brother in jail via video communication.
He found out Nikolas is in solitary confinement accused of assaulting a sheriff's deputy, and that the older Cruz says he's submerging his head in the sink to relieve his boredom.
When Nikolas asks him about one of their dogs, Maisey, Zachary reminds him that she had to be put down, but the older brother fixates on her death twice asking 'Why did you do it?' .
'Can we just — ' Zachary replied according to the Post. 'Can we just not talk about death right now?'
After the matter drops, so does the call, with Zachary's last message to his brother being 'In case it shuts off, I love you.'
'I love you, too,' Nikolas said as their visit comes to an end.
Zachary Cruz (left) still continues to visit his brother Nikolas Cruz (right) despite the murderous rampage Nikolas has admitted to committing
Zachary Cruz (left) said that he is trapped between loving and hating his brother Nikolas (right)
The biological mother of high school gunman Nikolas Cruz has been pictured for the first time while smoking a cigarette on the door step of her Dania Beach, Florida home
When it was revealed in September that the boys' biological mother was found, Zachary was uninterested in hearing about Brenda Woodard, 62, seen for the first time in photos exclusive to the Daily Mail, with her own history of criminality and violence.
'I don't look at that lady as my mom,' Zachary said. 'My mom was my adopted mom. It doesn't change anything.'
But Zachary, who hugged his brother and told him he loved him back in May despite the heinous crime Nikolas has admitted to committing, watches his older sibling's lawyer do her best to save her client's life.
'He doesn't have much time left on this earth,' Zachary predicts for the brother he is still standing by as attorneys wrangle over a trial date with the one-year anniversary of the massacre fast approaching.
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