Chores, 'unsupervised time' and jobs the secret to raising confident kids
To raise confident kids, take them on holidays close to home, give them chores and encourage them to get a part-time job.
A study of 10,000 Australian high school students found boys and girls derived equal amounts of self-confidence from the same activities, and the top three were travel, team sport and leadership opportunities.
But doing chores around the house also boosted confidence, although the affect declined beyond six hours a week. Few of the students in the study had part-time jobs, but those that did reported greater self-confidence.
While boys devoted more time to team sports and outdoor activities, they were important to the self-esteem of both genders, the study from the University of Queensland's AIBE Centre for Gender Equality in the Workplace found.
Travel was also important, but international travel was least effective: "Local travel on holidays ... is likely to allow for children to spend more unsupervised time away from adults relative to trips either interstate or overseas," the report said.
Any kind of unsupervised activity boosted confidence. Adults could play a role in framing the activities, but the benefit came from carrying out the activity without adult oversight.
Parents were often focused on academic success without realising the long-term, positive impact of confidence, the report's lead author Terry Fitzsimmons said.
"If people believe that they should be good at something, then they are more likely to be good at it," Dr Fitzsimmons said. "If you have a lack of focus on developing kids' efficacy, you are going to get poorer academic results among other things.
"If you are looking at [confidence] generally, I would say get kids engaged outside the house, and with others."
Dr Fitzsimmons also urged parents to nurture gender equality at home by giving their children the same chores, and paying them equal amounts of pocket money. "They are simple things that can be done by all of us. They don't have to be complicated."
The activities with the most negative effects on confidence were computer gaming and social media.
"We are seeing gender stereotypes on sitcoms and TV shows, and they are so formative," he said.
"If there's nothing to contradict that in their real life, they come to believe it. It's important to say, that's not the way we do things."
Some 10,000 students in single-sex schools in Queensland participated in the study, answering 300 questions under test conditions.
Siobhan O'Donnell, 13, has been playing cricket for five years and believes it has boosted her confidence. "It helps me with a lot of different things, such as believing in myself and my ability to do sport at a good level," she said.
"I love how you can make new friends and you are always by each other's side."
She is less enthusiastic about chores. "I prefer not to do something for myself, because it's a bit boring - cleaning up my room or making my bed. I [prefer] stuff that involves my whole family, such as doing the washing."
Continue the conversation at our SMH Student Facebook group.