One of the most challenging conundrums in life is how can someone you love make you feel terrible. I went through this dilemma again and again in my previous relationship that lasted for three long years. My partner never intimidated me with physical violence but he almost shattered my self-confidence, manipulated my emotions and gaslighted me whenever he got an opportunity. I always brushed all the issues under the carpet assuming we both love each other and one day, things would fall into place. Unfortunately, I was living under an illusion.

It took me three years to realise that this is not how a relationship should be, and understand that I deserve better things in life. Here’s what most of us get wrong about an abusive relationship and end up amplifying our own sufferings.

If you have to think (or rather fear) about what would your partner react if you do this or that, know they would break into a fit of rage if you go against their wish or simply have to think countless times before uttering anything in front of them, your relationship is definitely not on the right track.

Some of us think we should keep our relationship-related issues to our self and be mature enough to deal with them all alone. Obviously, you should not approach your friends for advice on every little fight or argument you have with your lover but when you feel you cannot solve an issue despite putting your best efforts, taking help from a trusted friend is the best thing to do. Sometimes, a third person’s perspective helps you to come to terms with reality and view your relationship with a pragmatic lens.