My husband and I haven’t had any physical relationships
TNN | Updated: Nov 23, 2018, 19:58 IST
Representational imageQuestion: I am a 28-year-old woman and have been married for three months. Although my husband does not have any physical problem (I know this because I have asked him directly) yet we haven’t consummated our marriage. When I ask him about this he says he isn’t emotionally ready because sex, for him, is much more than a physical relationship. I am tired of asking him if anything from the past is holding him back and he gives the same reply every time. He is otherwise a caring and loving person. I haven’t told this to anyone and sometimes I feel like involving our families. What should I do?-
By Anonymous
Response by Dr. Sanjay Chugh: The first thing you need to do is for both of you to go to a professional - psychiatrist or psychologist. Unconsummated marriages can lead to a great deal of stress in the individuals as well as in the marriage.
While your husband may be feeling emotionally unprepared for sex, this gap is not going to help. Not only is this going to increase the anguish in your mind, but also it can create a lot of damage in your relationship with him because clearly there is hardly any communication taking place on the topic.
Unfortunately, the increasing levels of frustration / rejection will soon overtake the love and care that may be present right now. It is imperative that you address the matter with a professional. This will also give your husband the opportunity to open up with someone and work on the underlying cause. Do let him know that there are treatments available for most such problems.
Dr. Sanjay Chugh is a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
Want expert advice for your relationship? Send us a mail at expertadvice.toi@gmail.com
Response by Dr. Sanjay Chugh: The first thing you need to do is for both of you to go to a professional - psychiatrist or psychologist. Unconsummated marriages can lead to a great deal of stress in the individuals as well as in the marriage.
While your husband may be feeling emotionally unprepared for sex, this gap is not going to help. Not only is this going to increase the anguish in your mind, but also it can create a lot of damage in your relationship with him because clearly there is hardly any communication taking place on the topic.
Unfortunately, the increasing levels of frustration / rejection will soon overtake the love and care that may be present right now. It is imperative that you address the matter with a professional. This will also give your husband the opportunity to open up with someone and work on the underlying cause. Do let him know that there are treatments available for most such problems.
Dr. Sanjay Chugh is a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
Want expert advice for your relationship? Send us a mail at expertadvice.toi@gmail.com
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