Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Information Overload?

“Deepika and Ranveer also getting married in Lake Como, na?” It was our friendly Bollywood jassoos’ random opening text last evening. Even though we hadn’t been in touch for weeks, it didn’t ever deter her from starting such conversations from wherever she thought fit.
“Huh?”we said.
“Arrey, where have you been??? Don’t you see the headlines?? Still hiding under a rock?” We let her jibe pass; when juicy info had to be offloaded, time was of the essence, according to the FBJ, and there was none for opening gambits or niceties. As expected, a flurry of texts followed.
“Only 30 people invited.”
“On Nov 20th”
“I think Sabyasachi doing her marriage lehenga.”
Here, the FBJ allowed herself time for some heart and applause emoticons. Then, the staccato texting resumed: “Only family and friends”
“Kavita Singh doing up their house in Bandra which they will shift into after marriage”
“For those who came in late, Kavita Singh is Sunita’s (Anil Kapoor’s wife and Sonam Kapoor’s mom) sister”
“And Ranveer’s mother/father is Kavita’s cousin”
But, before we could get into any more of the Bhambani-Kapoor-Singh family tree, mercifully, the FBJ’s attention was already distracted. “BTW, Sonam hasn’t been invited to Lake Como,” was the FBJ’s second-last SMS to us, before she undoubtedly got on to another conversation.
Her last, “As yet”, followed almost as an afterthought.
And so it goes...

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be

Ratan Tata

To say that Mumbai feels it has proprietary rights on the Taj hotel at Apollo Bunder is not untrue. Too many people have cherished memories of their first dates, their first disco experience, their (first?) marriages conducted here. (Ironically, the converse is also true: the hotel is a reminder of one of the most tragic episodes the city has been witness to, the crucible of many very painful memories, when terrorists had ripped it apart, destroying life and limb). What all this adds up to is that everyone appears to have an opinion on the goings-on in that venerable institution. And, as is wont to happen in such cases, people’s opinion mostly is that “things are not what they used to be”. No surprises then that the following incident, alleged to have taken place at the hotel’s famous coffee shop, Sea Lounge, last week (where back in the day, you could rub shoulders with a very hung-over Dom Moraes and a sprightly MF Husain, while minding your own business reading the newspapers over breakfast), plays right into this sense of nostalgia. The story goes that a distinguished-looking, but stooped elderly gent dropped by for a late evening coffee. As he waited to be seated, a Taj staffer came to him with much bustling efficiency. Raising her pen over her clipboard, she said, “Your name, sir?” A look of surprise, then a wry smile, is said to have spread over the patrician’s face. “My name,” he is reported to have said, “is Ratan Tata”.
A shame if true. Because, of course, if the Taj is one of the city’s venerable old institutions, so is Mr Tata.

Tweet talk
‘Friend: Your husband tweeted your number in public
Kajol: I know. Change kar dungi
Friend: Changing your number?
Kajol: No. My husband’

-Tweeted by handle @appurv_gupta, a comedian, after Ajay Devgn shared his wife’s number on Twitter. Devgn later clarified it was a prank

Of Fathers and Daughters

Menaka and Mohan Guruswamy

“I have known and seen up-close 10 prime ministers of India, and can safely testify that except for Dr Manmohan Singh, all the others collected money,” were policy wonk and political commentator Mohan Guruswamy’s opening words, in a piece titled ‘The Rafale Deal, One More in a Long List’. Penned this week for a popular e-zine, the alumnus of John F Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University, and Graduate School of Business, Stanford University, with over three decades as a senior bureaucrat, patiently explained why the defence deal plays such a major role in our politics. “Like petroleum taxes, it makes for easy collection,” he says, in reference to the latest billion-dollar scandal that is convulsing the nation. Beyond the healthy outrage, Guruswamy’s argument is a nuanced one: such corruption is systemic and requires a systemic overhaul. Incidentally, Guruswamy, a longstanding, sane voice in the corridors of Delhi’s political labyrinth, happens to be father of the brilliant Menaka Guruswamy, the sole woman in an all-male team of advocates who successfully fought against the constitutionality of Section 377. It is said that it was her argument of putting a human face to the cause that had won the day. Exceptional daughter of an exceptional father.

First Published: Sep 25, 2018 00:39 IST