Thank you, ma’am, for approaching our matrimonial service. We assure you that we will find a perfect girl for your perfect boy. Now, your criteria?
She should not be modern, that’s all.
Modern? Not sure we understand.
Haven’t you read the essay on the Modern Girl that Purabi Chakraborty, MA (Eng), BEd, DELT, has written, intended for ICSE, ISC and CBSE texts? The whole internet has been raving about it. Purabiji heaps scorn on this ‘self-centred creature’. And on her parents, too. Believe it or not, the Modern Girl actually ‘tries to keep herself fit and beautiful.’
Yes, yes, of course, we all want to be fit.
You look like a Modern Girl yourself. Why do you want to take care of yourself? For centuries, you have been taught to take care of your mother-in-law and husband and children. Suddenly you want to take care of yourself? See Purabiji’s advice: ‘A girl child should be guided how to behave... from an early age’. From the time she can crawl, she should be told that her role is to serve the Modern Man (and his mother).
Well, besides being a mouse, is there anything else you want from this girl?
To stay confined within ‘the four walls of her home’. Only come out when she’s called — be ‘obedient’. The essay says ‘Modern Girl plays cricket, tennis... climb mountains... and all kinds of jobs that boys are supposed to do.’ Worse, she enjoys ‘concerts... and outdoor activities.’ Outdoor activities! Has Nature set out rivers for her to swim in and hills for her to climb? No! It is for the men to enjoy. She should just find nobility in cooking from the crack of dawn to feed her roving men.
What about Hima Das and her team winning medals for our country?
Bah! Outdoor activities! Can their families eat medals? They should leave those jobs to the men.
And you haven’t found such a girl for your boy, despite trying everything? We wonder why.
Exactly. I wonder why, too. The Modern Girl, she says, is ‘talking to boys’. Whose boys? Not my poor boy for sure, who is having no luck at all.
I’m sorry, ma’am. We matchmake humans, not doormats.
Come on, come on. I’m modern too. Like the essay says, the Modern Girl is ‘very alert... about her career.’ See, I don’t mind if she works. Outdoor activities that bring money in — why should I mind? I’m modern like that.
Where Jane De Suza, the author of Happily Never After, talks about the week’s quirks, quacks and hacks.