Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend and I were chatting about sex a week ago, when he casually mentioned having a crush on a close friend of mine and asked how I would feel about a threesome. I was shocked, not because I'm a prude, but because he thought it would be okay to raise the possibility of having sex with me and someone else, while also presuming that she would be okay with this. I was so angry that I left and haven't spoken to him since that evening, and he keeps messaging to ask why I am taking this so seriously. He says he was just kidding and we were having a speculative discussion, but I am angry because he thought it was okay to even discuss a threesome, which is disrespectful to me. He has apologised, but I don't know if I should forgive him. Should I accept his apology?
If the two of you were simply speculating, and the shoe was on the other foot, with you mentioning a friend of his, would he react in the same way? He hasn't actually said this to your friend, nor has he done anything to give you the idea that he intends to try and have a threesome. It was a stupid comment, of course, and disrespectful in a number of ways, but the two of you decided to have a conversation about sex, so it's really up to you both to find a way around this. You can draw your own boundaries and decide what can and can't be discussed, because that's what being an adult is all about.
What is the best way to convince your partner to do something she isn't prepared to do, without jeopardising the relationship? I'm afraid to say it because I don't know how she will react and it's bothering me a lot.
I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little more specific about what you intend to say and why you believe she won't like it.
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