Balramji Dass Tandon: Here’s to a life lived in service of others

With the passing on of Balramji Dass Tandon recently, I was touched and humbled to see hundreds of people who poured into our home; called up, sent messages, e-mails and the like because he had touched their lives in such positive ways. He was a father figure to all, like Bheeshma Pitamaha.

His humility and ever-exuding love made him stand out. He helped people; just anyone and everyone who came his way. He personified ‘seva parmo dharma (service is the highest religion)’. He was always concerned about the last person in the line.

Numerous people have narrated stories of Tandonji helping them, which none of us was aware of.

There were 18 organisations to which he had been sending monthly cheques for 20 years. Last year, he sent them a lump sum amount each, saying God’s call may come anytime. He refused the governor’s salary hike, saying that in the twilight years of his life, his needs were limited and he didn’t need more.

In the past few years, he told me many a time, “I have lived my life. The present is bonus.”

Values for life

As his daughter-in-law, I saw his persona from a non-political vantage point. He has been an example of a value-oriented life. While editing his biography, Balramji Dass Tandon - Ek Prerak Charitra, written by my husband Sanjay Tandon, I got an opportunity to understand better, what he went through in the freedom struggle; his earlier years as an RSS pracharak; his travails as one of the founder members of the Jan Sangh along with Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Lal Krishna Advani.

He was jailed for 19 months during Emergency and wasn’t sure if he would ever return. The family stood by him in those tough times. It’s one thing to read or write about them, another to live through such trying times.

Perhaps going through so many hardships made him strong. He had nerves of steel; he had the courage of conviction; but his heart was as soft as butter. He cried while watching the movie Baghbaan because he was passionate about family values. He believed in, “Matru devo bhava, pitru devo bhava (revering parents as god).”

He stressed upon the importance of the role of the woman in binding a home by her qualities of adjustment, intelligence and sacrifice. He emphasised strongly, the learning of the mother tongue and imbibing Hindu values. He insisted that anyone who visited our home must get something to eat and drink; and this cordiality extended particularly to the staff, security personnel and drivers who accompanied VIP guests who dropped in frequently. This often tested the might of our hospitality prowess.

Losing a hero

As he lay wrapped in the Tricolour, and the army gave him a gun salute at a farewell with full state honours, my heart was in my mouth. Looking at my husband Sanjay, lighting the pyre, my heart went out to him. He had lost not only a father, but a mentor, a friend, a guide…verily the man who was his hero.

My tearful gaze shifted to our children as they stood beside their father and I thought: My children have been blessed to have had two illustrious men as their grandfathers. One reached the pinnacle of his career as the Chief Justice of India. The other became the governor of Chhattisgarh.

Both expounded and lived by strong values and ethics. God doesn’t make the likes of them anymore. We have been fortunate to address them both as Dad. What a legacy!

Everyone has to go one day; but what a glorious life, what a glorious end and what a glorious sendoff!

(The writer is a Chandigarh-based freelance contributor and can be contacted at priya@tandonindia.com)

First Published: Aug 26, 2018 09:20 IST