Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend finds the most offensive jokes funny. He doesn't care if they are offensive to women or children, he just sends them to me and expects me to laugh, too. I don't know why he does this, because he doesn't seem like a nasty, bigoted, sexist person, and yet these jokes make me wonder if he puts on an act to come across as something he is not. I have spoken to him about it and asked him why he sends me these jokes, and he keeps asking me to lighten up. I am very calm, but I think these jokes tend to become stereotypes and shouldn't be encouraged because they eventually affect how people treat each other. Am I the one who is wrong here?
You're not wrong, but it's probably his inability to gauge how you feel about these things that makes him believe it's okay. It's obvious that he doesn't understand who you are as a person yet. It takes some people time to acknowledge that the person they are in a relationship with is different from who they are. I suggest you put your foot down and tell him that it's not okay to send you things that offend you. As for whether he's pretending to be someone he's not, time will give you that answer when you get to know him a little better, too.
I broke up with my girlfriend recently and can't get her out of my mind because I think she made a mistake. Should I contact her? My friends say I should, but I'm not sure because she said she never wanted to speak to me again.
You can try, but it takes two people to make something work. If she believes ending this was a better idea, I'm not sure how you intend to prove to her that she made a wrong decision. Getting over someone isn't easy, but maybe time will give you both a sense of perspective.
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