Try these tips to avoid bedtime battles

Bedtime with your little one: snuggle together while reading stories, exchange sweet kisses goodnight, turn out the light, close the door. Within seconds, the child drifts off into dreamland.

If only bedtime could be so easy. Unfortunately, for many parents it’s a real struggle to get their youngster to fall asleep and sleep through the night.

Keeping a sleep diary

Because so many factors influence sleep, keeping a diary for a couple of weeks can help home in on problems. Take note of:

— what your child ate or drank, and his or her activities during the few hours before bed.

— the time the child gets into bed and when they fall asleep.

— the time your son or daughter wakes in the night and for how long.

— the time your child wakes in the morning.

— the number of daytime naps, when and for how long.

— a general rating of the child’s quality of sleep and sleepiness during the day.

This information will be helpful if you talk to your child’s pediatrician or other professional about their sleep problems.

What’s a parent to do?

— Develop a consistent bedtime routine.

— Have a standard bedtime and wake time each day, even on weekends. Try to not have more than an hour’s variation from day to day.

— Keep the hour before bed calm and quiet, avoiding active play, watching TV, and playing video games.

— Have a small snack before bed, but steer clear of sugary foods or items with caffeine.

— Follow a regular bedtime pattern, such as: bath, brush teeth, put on pajamas, read two stories, turn on dim nightlight (if needed), and say goodnight. Following the routine every night signals children that it’s time for bed and helps their bodies prepare for sleep.

— Keep the TV and other electronic devices out of your child’s room, because the light from them interferes with production of hormones that trigger sleep.

Bedtime fading: What if your child has gotten into the habit of going to bed late? Put them to bed at the time they generally fall asleep and slowly adjust bedtime earlier over a period of days or weeks. Be sure to wake your youngster at the same time each morning, regardless of when they fell asleep.

Systematic ignoring: Also known as the “cry it out” method, this can be useful for children who demand a caregiver’s presence to fall asleep. You put your child to bed and do not return until morning, ignoring the crying and protests. Evidence shows that this is a highly successful and safe way to eliminate a child’s need for a caregiver to be present to fall asleep. However, it’s not tolerable for some families.

This method should not be used with a newborn because they need reassurance and attention from caregivers. Once the baby is six months old, he or she should be able to sleep through the night. If not, then you may try this method.

Strategic Napping: Avoid naps that are too close together or too close to bedtime. Too much sleep during the day messes with bedtime and nighttime sleep.

Positive Reinforcement: For preschool-age children and older, using positive reinforcement or a reward system can help decrease challenging bedtime behaviors. When my son was 3, he demanded that my husband or I stay in his room while he fell asleep. We tried ignoring his protests, but he would come out of his room screaming and yelling.

We talked with him about what he could earn by staying quietly in his room and going to sleep on his own. He wanted a flashlight. So he got stickers each night he did well, and after earning 14, received his reward.

It’s important to remember that for most children, there will be some setbacks. You may have great success in improving bedtime habits only to have a vacation, illness, bad storm, or other factor return you to square one. When that happens, take some deep breaths and start again.

Bedtime resistance is common in children. However, if your child has significant challenges at least three times a week for at least three months that negatively affect the child, parent(s) and/or family, you should consider consulting your child’s pediatrician or contacting the Hasbro Children’s Hospital Pediatric Sleep Clinic for more help.

Rochelle M. Fritz, Ph.D., is a psychologist specializing in child and family psychology. She is a provider with the Bradley Hospital Early Childhood Program.