SENIOR Q&A: Potential changes in a father’s memory

Q: My father has always been sharp. However recently I am receiving phone calls from friends that they have noticed my father’s memory is not as sharp. He wrote a check to a friend that was not written correctly. Other people say he is not showing up on time and forgetting he is getting together with them. When I see my father he still seems sharp. Why can’t I see the change? Also, what should I do about it?

A: It is possible when you visit with your father he is trying to cover up and not show you that he is forgetting. Studies have shown that family members sometimes excuse early forgetfulness and sometimes it is just too hard emotionally to think our father is not who he once was. On your visits walk through the house and see if it’s as clean as always, open up the refrigerator to peek inside, look at his clothing to see if it’s got some stains, are the counters more cluttered, and if possible look at the checkbook to see if it’s been balanced in awhile. Then consider asking your father if he is noticing anything different with his memory and does he feel as sharp as he did a year ago. You can also send your father’s PCP a fax the morning of your father’s next appointment with your concerns and ask the doctor if your father can be referred to a neurologist for further testing. Between the neurologist and the PCP you will get some answers.

Q: My daughter has learning disabilities and I am now getting older and thinking about my daughter and who will be around to take care of her. My daughter lives with me and before that lived with my wife before she passed away. My daughter is not able to pay bills or make good sound medical decisions. She is able to prepare herself a meal, do laundry and she is able to go food shopping. She does not drive. Who do I speak with about making sure someone is overseeing the financials and overseeing my daughter?

A: The first step is to speak with an Elder Law Attorney who specializes in special needs or who has someone in their office with this specialty. This person can answer all your questions and arrange for financial oversight when you can no longer do it or when you pass away. Speak with the attorney about recommendations for a person or agency to help with the oversight. An Aging Life Care Professional can be of assistance, overseeing and bringing in services such as a driver and agencies to help as needs develop. It is a good idea to have everything in place before there is a crisis in your life. If you go to https://www.naela.org/findlawyer you can find an attorney who specializes in elder law.

Q: I am beginning the search for Nursing Homes for my mother and have toured a few facilities. My mother developed an infection in the hospital and now has a deep wound. I worry about her developing other infections that are airborne. Recently there was a news story on Legionella. It is summertime and with the air conditioning running are facilities checking on systems for mold and other contaminants? Is this required by the state? I live in MA.

A: In Massachusetts Nursing Homes must have policies and procedures in place that include testing protocols, tracking the results, and what to do to correct the situation. The Nursing Home should conduct a risk assessment related to Legionella and other waterborne pathogens. The testing of the water is at the discretion of the Nursing Home. All Nursing Homes must comply with federal and state requirements. If you tour facilities you can ask about their policy and procedures and if they test the water for pathogens.

Linda Sullivan RN, CMC and Debbie Gitner LCSW, C-SWCM are Geriatric Care Managers/Aging Life Care Professionals. Each has had over thirty five years of experience working with the geriatric population in acute and long term care setting. Both are certified court mediators and have completed the educational seminar Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia Care. Together they started a business called ElderCare Resource Services which is a company that can assist, advocate, and help families through the medical maze of best options for their family member.