We Tried: The million-dollar handshake - first impressions do count
I have to admit I’m a little bit nervous, more than a little bit if I’m honest, about meeting Catherine Molloy. In this job you meet a lot of people, a lot of strangers, and rarely does anyone shake me.
Gordon Ramsay did, so too author Margaret Atwood when I interviewed her (and that was over the phone) and there was a local rugby player once who I had a terrible crush on and every time I was in his presence I disintegrated into a flibbertigibbetish mess and could not form a sentence, let alone write anything that made sense. But that’s been about it in 30 years.
Until Molloy. As the author of The Million Dollar Handshake Molloy reckons that first interaction is crucial when meeting someone for the first time.
“If you are meeting in the hope that they will give you a job, secure a major business deal for your company, work with you for the good of your country, or become your partner in life, then that first impression means everything and you want it to be great,” she says.
So we meet in the lobby of QT, I’ve read her book, and I go in to seal the deal. I’ve dressed well, walk in and make initial eye contact, smile, and offer a firm handshake, and a warm welcome. I think I did ok. Molloy does too. But offers me some tips to do it better next time. Align my hips with whoever I’m shaking hands with, don’t step in, steady myself before I shake. But she likes my grip, webbing to webbing is the key, a mutual thing with no one trying to assert any dominance (and we’ll get to bad handshakes soon).
It’s all second nature to her now. Years ago she was working for a bank and was on a holiday in Bali watching how the stall holders interacted with customers. She soon figured out it was all about that first connection, a handshake, an acknowledgement of the other person, a friendly manner.
When she went back to work she started studying body language, using what she learned in her customer service role and quickly started topping the monthly sales.
“Body language has been the key factor in my success in everything I’ve ever done.”
No discussion of handshakes and body language would be complete without an analysis of the world’s worst shaker Donald Trump.
“Donald Trump has a very confused mind,” she says, in what could be the understatement of the year.
“And it comes through in his handshakes. There's so much going on that he's not aware of what his body is doing sometimes.”
He does everything wrong. He goes in over the top with a dominant hand, he’s a pumper, he’s a patter.
“He’s a joke to watch,” Molloy says.
She also mentions the infamous handshake between Mark Latham and then prime minister John Howard outside the radio station in 2004 on the eve of the election.
“That handshake probably cost Mark Latham the top job,” she says, remembering when Lathan seized the hand of Howard and pulled him towards him, overpowering him with a dominant stance.
“That’s the power of a handshake,” she says.
She says there are seven quick non verbal things to think about to make that good first impression.
- Smile.
- Adjust your attitude
- Straighten your posture - this increases your height and signals confidence and competence
- Use eye contact
- Use open gestures - don’t cross your arms or stand with your legs crossed
- Relax your breathing
- Give the Million Dollar Handshake.
Verdict: In a town like Canberra where deals are made in government, business and in everyday life every minute of the day, perhaps we should all spend a little more time thinking about those seven seconds.
Details: The Million Dollar Handshake: The ultimate guide to revolutionise how you connect and communicate in business and life, Hachette, $29.99.