Deciphering the modern marriage

An anthology on modern marriage edited by journalist and author Sathya Saran ‘Knot for Keeps’ will be launched in Goa on July 27. NT BUZZ in conversation with Saran

Danuska Da Gama I NT BUZZ

Journalist and author Satya Saran has edited ‘Knot for Keeps’ an anthology that has essays and short stories by writers including Sharanya Manivannan, Neha Dixit, Kalyan Ray, Rita Mukherjee, Chitra Viraraghavan and Bulbul Sharma, and a poem by Prasoon Joshi.

At a time when marriage as an institution is undergoing a whirlwind of changes, the book gives you different perspectives, of what it really is as against the fairytale idea of a marriage or a rosy picture of a beautiful phase of life that awaits you.

Previously, Saran who is the executive director of Encyclomedia and consulting editor of Harper Collins Publishers, India was the editor of Femina and headed the team that managed the prestigious Femina Miss India Contest, among others.

 

Excerpts from an interview

 

1. What was your definition of marriage as a young adult back then? What is it now?

I could not decide whether being married was all about romance and roses, or being stuck with a boring life of cooking and cleaning. But I dreamt mine would be the former. For now, I will say, it is an ongoing process, and needs working on constantly, as people change, and nothing can be taken for granted in any relationship.

 

1. What brought about a change in your idea of marriage?

I married in my teens. And it took me a long time to learn responsibility and understand that everyone has different ideas about marriage. Backgrounds, egos, habits have to be taken into account. But with understanding and love, everything can be worked out. It was not always easy, but it worked in the long run.

 

1. Still, for a lot of people, the ultimate goal remains marriage. Why this importance to an institution that has lost its original meaning?

I suppose marriage still symbolises stability and a home that one can call one’s own and a committed partner. Often the reality is different, but most people enter marriage hoping theirs will be the perfect one.

 

1. Why should married people or those contemplating getting married pick up a copy of your book?

The book consists of a batch of stories that, though light hearted or clothed as fiction, hold serious lessons about how relationships within a marriage can turn. There are essays on how marriages have worked under trying conditions: distance, illness, disapproval … There is serious advice from a counsellor that anyone can benefit from. It is only a sampling, as no two marriages are alike, and no collection of writing can cover all aspects. In fact, I wanted a viewpoint from a widower, a divorcee, someone who had walked out of marriage at least thrice… but could not find writers willing to share their stories. Maybe another time, in some other book…

 

1. Can you tell us how the narratives echo how the modern marriage is fractured in several elements?

My endeavour was to choose writers who would bring in fresh and unabashed perspectives on marriage evoked from personal experiences. Not all the writers contacted delivered their stories. But then I had a mix anyway.

Marriage is after all a balance of the universe between two different people and every single combination of two people comes with its own insights created over a period of time. I hoped to show this in the anthology through different voices

 

1. What according to you makes a marriage work?

Communication. Understanding each person is different. Trust. And of course love.

 

1. In India, there is still a big deal about divorces, separations, and live-in relationships, despite being exposed to media, westernisation, etc. Comment.

What is there to say? We love gossip and scandal and drama and feed off the lives of others.

1. What prompted you to edit this book?

Karthika who was the publisher at Harper Collins thought it was a good, contemporary subject begging to be explored, and she felt I could do a good job of it. I could not resist!

 

1. You were part of the Femina Miss India core team for several years which gave us memorable winners like Rita Faria, Aishwarya, Sushmita Sen, Priyanka Chopra. But though the pageant continues, people aren’t as interested in the contest as before. Comment.

I prefer not to. You said it all.

 

1. Somewhere down the line today, do you believe that the pageant has lost its sheen, that besides a number of other pageants having cropped up?

Perhaps, television and the internet offer easier ways to attain instant fame, which was something the Pageant offered. That could be a major reason.

 

(‘Knots to Keep’ will be launched at Andores Resort & Spa, Calangute at 5 p.m. on July 27. The launch is part of Empower hosted by Think Geek Media which is an initiative to inform, inspire, influence and support future thought leaders of our collective society and community. Open to all.)