Colton Underwood is opening up about the difficult decision to discuss his virginity on national television.
After revealing that he’s still a virgin to Becca Kufrin on Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, Underwood penned an emotional message on Instagram further explaining his decision.
“On tonight’s episode I talk about something I typically avoid talking about at all costs, but it was appropriate for me to bring up,” he wrote. “It’s something that I don’t talk about very often and something that only a handful of people know.”
The former football player, 26, admitted that he used to be ashamed of his decision to wait to have sex, but has since learned to embrace it.
“I considered it a gift and a curse for many years, but finally have come to terms about standing up for who I am and the details that make me, me,” he wrote. “Anyone who feels like they are hiding their truth out of embarrassment or fear of being judged… I HAVE BEEN THERE.”
He continued: “You are not alone, I have covered up my truth with lies and tried to ‘fit in’ — while I thought fitting in was what I wanted, I’ve recently learned that being different is what I need. We all have something that we hold close to us and something that makes us unique in our own ways.”
Underwood concluded his message by encouraging others to live their truth — no matter what other people may think.
“I ask for respect from everyone I meet moving forward and I’m here to call on everyone that needs that extra motivation to be ‘different’ — HERE IT IS,” he wrote. “Be who you are. I love you all.”
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Underwood discussed his virginity while on a one-on-one date with Kufrin, explaining that while he’s not waiting until marriage to have sex, he simply hasn’t met the right person yet. Though Kufrin initially excused herself to gather her thoughts, she later returned and offered him a rose, guaranteeing him a hometown date on next week’s episode.
“When the time comes, it’ll happen,” he said on the date. “I’m not trying to prove anything. It’s just a part of me, you know? I’m not going to have a mistake one night. I want it to be a special moment. I want it to be a gift that I give to somebody.”
After the episode, Underwood defended Kufrin’s on-screen reaction to his reveal.
“Can confirm. There was 0 intent to be disrespectful…I definitely did not take it that way,” he tweeted in response to Kufrin’s tweet that she got up to go the bathroom.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.
