Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I want to tell my boyfriend to stop being affectionate in public because I think he does it just to get attention. Should I be honest and just say this?
I can't comment on whether he's doing it for attention or not, because I don't know him. If you're not comfortable with him being affectionate though, the two of you should be able to be honest about why this is. Tell him why you feel this way, and give him a chance to justify his actions. Don't be afraid to discuss your feelings, because that's what makes for stronger relationships.
My boyfriend is an extremely insensitive person. He says all kinds of things about the way I dress and the way I behave, without thinking about how these things affect me. I have repeatedly asked him to think twice before saying something, but he says I am being melodramatic and should have a thicker skin. Two weeks ago, he made fun of my weight in front of my friends. I laughed it off, but was extremely humiliated. One of my friends told me she thought it was inappropriate, and I told him this later. He asked me to ignore her and said she was trying to ruin our relationship. How do I get him to stop being like this?
If you haven't been able to get him to see things from your point of view, and he doesn't want to take the opinion of your friends seriously either, the only way to make him understand may be to tell him that being with him makes you unhappy. Being in love with someone is one thing, but allowing that person to have power over you and disrespect your feelings is quite another. He needs to understand that this is about respect, not sensitivity. If he doesn't get that, you really should be with someone who does. Also, if you're melodramatic, you are allowed to be. The world needs melodramatic people, too.
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