Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My friends recently introduced me to a guy who seemed very interesting. We went out a few times and he was great. We had a fabulous time and enjoyed ourselves, until he began telling me these really sleazy jokes. I was shocked, but didn't say anything because I had enjoyed his company until that point. He asked me out again a week later, and I had a good time once again, until he shared another sleazy joke with me. I don't understand this behaviour. On the one hand, he's a well-behaved, well-adjusted guy and I really like chatting with him. On the other hand, he thinks it's perfectly okay to tell me these jokes without even wondering if I am offended by them. How do I resolve this? Should I stop meeting him completely?
I don't know if cutting him off entirely is justified at this point of time. If you enjoy his company and believe there is more to him than this side that enjoys sleazy jokes, it's something you should talk to him about first. After all, you like the guy. He doesn't know you very well, obviously, and is probably trying to gauge your reactions to what he says because he will have to understand what you like and don't like over a period of time. It is presumptuous of him to assume you like sleazy stuff, of course, and he really should ask for your opinion before sharing these jokes with you. I suggest you weigh the pros and cons of spending time with him before deciding whether or not you want to meet him again. Also, be forthright and tell him how you feel about these jokes clearly, without waiting for him to guess that you don't enjoy them. If he continues to do this even after you share your opinion, it's obvious that he doesn't value it enough to change who he is. That's when you can decide whether or not you don't want to see him anymore.
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