World Cup 2018: Groups A and B get set for finales – live!

Thanks Richard. Off you go. Enjoy the rest of your day. So, how are we all? Great. What’s that you say? You want to digest some talking points from the second round of group matches? OK. Here you go then:

That’s all from me, Richard Parkin, from the remote southern hemisphere desk. To take you ever closer to today’s four terrific fixtures I’ll leave you in the more than competent hands of Gregg Bakowski.

Some very strong later challengers, but I can confirm the chocolate frog is in the mail to Andrew Benton. And by frog, we mean “a grooved metal plate for guiding the wheels of a railroad vehicle at an intersection” (see earlier). May it bear you great weights of chocolate.

The Group B final matches become a little more intriguing though. Spain will be looking perhaps to make sure of top spot against Morocco, and will have the benefit of knowing who of Russia or Uruguay has emerged top from Group A.

More importantly than their round of 16 opponents however is ensuring which end of the draw they progress into, give the potential ‘stacking’ of the bottom half with the likes of Brazil, Germany, England, Colombia etc.

The Iran-Portugal fixture stands out as a cracker for mine, given the possibility of somebody other than Cristiano Ronaldo grabbing all the headlines: Carlos “I’m Portuguese and I used to coach Portugal but now I stand potentially as the man to knock Portugal out of the World Cup” Queiroz.

Granted, if that were to happen Ronaldo would just drop some “Neymar tears” on half-way to try and draw the attention of all the world’s cameras. But it would still be a remarkable subplot.

Do you reckon his whatsapp account has been buzzing this week? Friends and family sending him pictures of their nonna’s clutching a portuguese flag to remind him of his primary obligation?

Queiroz was after all born not in Portugal but Mozambique but does this fact strengthen or weaken his resolve to do over his own country?

Of course there is the remote possibility that if Morocco absolutely drubbed Spain AND Iran beat Portugal (but by a lesser margin) both the nation of his employers and the nation of his homeland might progress? Imagine that.

So let us now return to day 12’s fixtures.

We start with 3/4 ‘live’ matches tonight; with the only dead rubber, Egypt v Saudi Arabia still a pretty fascinating intercontinental grudge match between the ‘Giants of Africa’ and the ‘Titans of West Asia’ who just happen to share a border.

Remarkably, it’s only the seventh time these two sides have met - with the last meeting over 11 years ago. So plenty there for pan-Arabic pride.

The pick of the Group A matches is however Uruguay v Russia, with top spot of the line and the chance to avoid either Spain, Portugal or Iran - results which won’t be known until later - in the knockouts.

It will also see the battle of the free-scoring host nation vs the free-from-the-bounds-of-convention Luis Suárez. In 2010 he rocked the World Cup with an outrageous deliberate handball against Ghana; in 2014 it was his infamous taste-test of Giorgio Chiellini that commanded headlines across the globe. He’s an absolute loose cannon AND utterly brilliant - what could he possibly come up with tonight?!

Speaking of permutations, for fans of the US election wonks FiveThirtyEight, it seems Nate Silver & friends have branched out into football with their subtle blend of math (we’ll spare the plural given they’re American) and wizardry. And their current overall favourites might surprise you.

Forget all that gaff, is it coming home, you hear screamed from your lounge room? 8% chance at this stage, Dad.

For fans of AFC nations Japan is definitely in the box seat as the only nation ranked above an even chance of progressing. The odds for Iran are 15%, Australia 14% and South Korea a remarkable 1% chance.

Turns out that’s got even slimmer with news coming out of Korea that captain Ki Sung-yueng is reportedly scratched for their final group game against Germany.

And before we turn our sights on the four Day 12 clashes, some final thoughts on that England performance last night, with two nice late night offerings you may have missed.

Here’s Barney Ronay on how the joyful, smiling Jesse Lingard is an exemplar for a generally more relaxed England:

And as we enter the final games of the group stages, Sachin Nakrani runs the rule over whether England should employ a ‘tactical’ result against Belgium:

Ach. And some sad news just across my desk for those of you following this blog from Australia - with the passing of the trailblazing football journalist, Andrew Dettre, a colossus of the fledgling sport for over half a century. Rest in peace, Andrew.

Now one of the weirder stories from around the globe this week (and haven’t we had a few to choose from) was the news that China has officially cracked down on videos of people whispering, eating ice and brushing hair.

So if you’re one of those disgusting perverts who enjoy “autonomous sensory meridian response”, instead of just following the latest news here in written form, why not treat some of your other senses?

I can neither confirm nor deny that intermittently throughout the recording of this one Barry Glendenning makes surprise appearances crunching on some ice in the background and occasionally attempting to brush Max Rushden’s hair.

But like walking out of a cinema before the credits have finished, you don’t want to be left with a lingering feeling that you may have missed something spectacular if you don’t hear this one all the way through.

I think my favourite part of that report was this:

Egypt soccer federation spokesman Osama Ismail said that Salah has not complained to the federation. “Only what Salah writes on his Twitter account should be counted on.”

Is this a red rag to a bull, an invitation to Salah to set the record straight? Or have the federation hacked his account and are resting smug in the knowledge that Salah’s continued silence will be considered as happy compliance?

For the record, here’s Salah’s most recent tweet.. from four days ago:

Elucidating stuff.

The Egyptian FA has even gone further on the PR front foot now claiming that Salah is “happy in the camp”.

Presumably this means the footballing camp, and not some swiftly arranged re-educational facility.

But returning to actual football content, with the bombshell that Mohamed Salah might have played his last ever game for Egypt.

This from Associated Press:

Mohamed Salah told Egypt team officials and teammates that he is considering retiring from international play because he is angry about being used as a political symbol while the World Cup squad was based in Chechnya, two people close to the player told The Associated Press Sunday.

Salah the Muslim world’s most popular soccer player today said he was particularly annoyed with a team banquet hosted by Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov, who used the dinner to grant Salah “honorary citizenship,” according to the two people. Both spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the subject.

Egypt soccer federation spokesman Osama Ismail said that Salah has not complained to the federation. “Only what Salah writes on his Twitter account should be counted on.”

Chechnya, a predominantly Muslim region in southern Russia, was devastated by wars between separatists and Russian forces. Kadyrov, a former rebel who switched his loyalties to Moscow, faces accusations of gross human rights violations, including abductions and killings.

Salah, who also took part in a photo opportunity with Kadyrov, has been criticized by the British media for allowing the Chechen leader to use him to improve the government’s international image.

Salah had not responded publicly to the criticism while the team was based in Grozny, the Chechen capital. Salah’s meetings with Kadyrov carry the potential to hurt his popularity in Europe, where he has been something of an ambassador for moderate Islam.

News of Salah’s disapproval of Kadyrov’s actions leaked out just after the Egyptian squad left Grozny. The team is now in Volgograd for Monday’s game against Saudi Arabia which, like Egypt, has also been eliminated.

Phwaor. Huge, if true. And you thought the ‘will-he, won’t he’ speculation ahead of Egypt’s opening game was big; now to see if Africa’s reigning Footballer of the Year will play today.

Now an idol of mine away from the hallowed turf of world football is definitely the eponymous hero of ‘Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace’ - who at one stage claims to be “one of the few authors who’s written more books than he’s actually read”.

Similarly as somebody who’s hosted more podcasts than I’ve perhaps listened to, under duress from friends one of the few I’ve tried was ‘stuff you should know’ in particular an episode about Frogs, which I can happily report was utterly fascinating.

And so, just when I thought I knew most things about frogs, Andrew Benton has dropped by my inbox with the following inquiry, referring to the offer made in the Preamble (see below):

Hello Richard,

What sort of frog can we win? An amphibian, or (via Google search) ... “Frog - a thing used to hold or fasten something, in particular.”

1. an ornamental coat fastener or braid consisting of a spindle-shaped button and a loop through which it passes.
   
2. an attachment to a belt for holding a sword, bayonet, or similar weapon.
   
3. a perforated or spiked device for holding the stems of flowers in an arrangement.
   
4. the piece into which the hair is fitted at the lower end of the bow of a stringed instrument.
   
5. a grooved metal plate for guiding the wheels of a railroad vehicle at an intersection.”
   

I’d have 5. the metal plate - it’d be huge, loads of chocolate.

Well, thank you indeed Andrew - I’ve made it to [undetermined] amount of rotations of the sun in my life, and I’ve never heard of a ‘frog’ as a fastening device. You’re definitely in pole position, thus far.

So, dear readers, which of the above options is YOUR favourite? And can we perhaps together come up with a push to get the terminology of being ‘a frog’, as in perhaps ‘the defensive midfielder who ties a side together’, into world football?

I’d argue Kante definitely gets my vote thus far - and note, this is definitely part of a #reclaimfrog movement after arguably unwarranted attacks on Germany’s much-maligned Mesut Oezil earlier in the week:

Last night’s third match, Poland v Colombia, while not perhaps a shock in terms of the result was perhaps one in terms of the execution; this was a headshot, at least to the hopes of Polish supporters and their players and staff.

Having breezed qualification much was expected of a team spearheaded by one of the world’s best No9s currently in action. Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski may have found fame (and goals) across the border, but in Robert Lewandowski, Poland boast a world-class striker capable of single-handedly wresting games from nervous opposition.

Going into their opening match against Senegal, Poland faced the remarkable stat of becoming the 13th of 14 representatives from Europe not to lose their opening match in Russia, with only defending champions Germany falling at the first hurdle.

As Jonathan Wilson so emphatically surmised after a second disastrous loss, though: “Poland, unfortunately, continue to be at their best when they are not in tournaments.”

Here was his match report from Kazan, on a night that Colombia purred back into the reckoning as a potential late-tournament contender, and the tournament saw its first European nation eliminated:

Last night’s second fixture was another fascinating battle - the type that makes the Fifa World Cup an unparalleled spectacle, as two utterly contrasting nations with markedly different footballing traditions and philosophies went head to head: Senegal v Japan.

The West Africans have already won kudos for earning the continent’s first win of Russia 2018, with not just their fans impressing with their loveable tidiness, but also their team, by bucking lazy stereotypes about the defensive discipline or organisation of African nations.

In a match that in punditry previews had been devolved into ‘African strength’ vs ‘Asian technique’, both sides showed a high degree of both to hand down a result that makes Group H one of the more intriguing arm-wrestles going into the final round of group stage matches. Amy Lawrence took in the action in Ekaterinberg:

And speaking of a salute from ‘down under’ - is there anything Australian football could offer that’s more perfect than this?

G’day you flaming galahs - that’s not a football match, THIS is a football match.

Indeed, there’s the most entirely ‘un-English’ whiff of faint hope starting to form around Southgate’s unicorn-riding younglings, but criticism of Panama’s quality as an opponent has perhaps been overstated.

Don’t forget, this is a nation competing at their first ever World Cup. Some reasonably passable footballing nations finished behind them in qualification (*cancels next trip to the United States*) and for all their inexperience, there’s no questioning the passion of the team that went out to represent the tiny central American nation.

This terrific video of what hearing the Panamanian anthem meant to seasoned veteran commentators has done a fair rounds of the interwebs:

And despite the 6-1 scoreline there were still some positives to take out of last night’s game for ‘the Sele’, as Fernando Cuenco writes:

From a nation that went 270 minutes without scoring at its first ever World Cup, and then had to wait another 32 years to finally score a World Cup goal, we, the good people of Australia, salute you, Panama.

But before we delve into Day 12’s tantalising encounters, like a patient Japanese sensai, let us first rake the stones of last night’s remarkable results.

It all has to start with England’s stunning demolition of Panama, which if nothing else, has given rise to a surprise new candidate in the race for the Golden Boot:

Ahh, Stones.

In the remarkable event that you’ve missed this result, here’s Daniel Taylor’s match report live from Novgorod, on a night where captain Harry Kane also didn’t harm his chances to emerge as the tournament’s leading scorer. Be-waistcoated manager Gareth Southgate was effusive in his praise for his lead man, as these comments post-match demonstrate: