“Ross? Do we know any Ross?” Well, of course we do, the lovable rogue! And of course London cannot change him … or can it? This was a slightly time-wasting episode, redeemed by some beautiful lighting and cinematography. It would have been greatly enhanced by a lot more insight into the home life of Sindy Doll and Dr Enys. Still, this is how it goes when you get into a series. Seeds are being sown and things have to be dragged out a little. We can’t be hyperventilating every Sunday night.
The initial scenes depicting Ross’s absence were hilarious. Ah, the temptations amid the fire-eaters, elephant statues and pink-haired tarts of crazy Olde London Towne. “My dearest Demelza …” He’s at the House of Commons. He’s making a speech. If this were real life, I would definitely start watching BBC Parliament. “My dearest Ross …” Demelza is collecting apples. She’s visiting the mine. Oh dear, that is not going to keep her out of mischief. They didn’t spend Christmas together? But the anti-slavery debate rages on. And it must be linked to the industrial revolution. I know Cap’n Ross was only doing his best, but it didn’t really sound as if anyone was listening to him.
Back at Trenwith, Cousin Verity was breathing some welcome fresh air into the place, although it wasn’t a patch on Aunt Agatha’s comic interventions, and I felt as if the wonderful Ruby Bentall (Verity) could have been given so much more to do here. Geoffrey Charles, wearing his best pudding bowl haircut, came home to a house full of pineapples. And Evil George made friends with a man with a frilly blouse, who said a lot of suggestive and inappropriate things to Elizabeth. Happy times for Evil George, meanwhile, who discovered that not only can you become an MP just by buying a constituency, but you can also buy extra MPs at the same time. “Very. Powerful. Indeed,” he gasped, in a Trumpian tweet.
The birth of baby Sarah to the usurped Horace the pug, Sindy Doll and Dr Enys was too brief a scene, perhaps to spare viewers’ emotions as storm clouds gathered. Dr Enys knows something we don’t and he is not telling Sindy Doll either. Meningitis? Scarlet fever? Hydrocephalus? I couldn’t face Googling the possibilities, I’m afraid, ’Darkers, and I expect we will find out soon enough. (Please, no spoilers below if you have read the books.) It’s such a shame this is clearly going to take a dark turn, as I like Caroline’s entertaining pretence that she doesn’t want to be a mother, even though I am sure it is anachronistic. Surely an aristocratic woman during this time would never be able to talk about her baby being ugly, no matter how playfully.
Ross’s work experience as an MP was cut short when they started to run out of whatever it is they mine at the mine, which – I can never work this out – is called a wheel or wheal. I could look it up but I have lost the will (wheel? wheal?) to live. He came back as soon as he could, rescued his late father’s favourite unintelligible, philandering pirate friend from being killed on the beach and bought everyone a round at the pub. But still it wasn’t enough to convince Zacky that Cap’n Ross hadn’t become Rees-Moggified. “Be ’e now too grand for the likes of we?” “Do you think me out of touch with my own mine?” (Yes! You don’t even know how to spell “wheel”.) However, Zacky slept on Ross’s cunning plan and immediately changed his mind for no reason whatsoever other than that it was a different scene. This was necessary so that it can all go horribly wrong next week and everything will collapse on someone’s head, just like it did on Francis back in the day.
There was some shoehorning of Rebecca Front as Whitworth’s mother (more of this, please, otherwise what’s the point in casting her?), some brief toe-wiggling action from Morwenna’s sister, some pining from Drake and some business about Pascoe’s bank, which is where Ross keeps all his money. Otherwise, this was one long setup for some terrible things that will unfold next week. Still, at least Ross and Demelza got back together. And she got some earrings. “You don’t suspect an attachment there still.” “No more than you suspect my attachment to Hugh.” Oh, do put these ghosts and ideals behind you and have a tussle by the fire. That’s better now, isn’t it?
Pewter tankard award for bonkers brilliance as supporting actor
Geoffrey Charles (Louis Davison) stole quite a few scenes without actually having that much to do. It helped that he had one of the weirdest and most disturbing lines in series four: “My tutor was a noted flog-bottomist. But now I shall have my own fag.” I am still trying to pretend I didn’t hear this. If you are thinking (a) he doesn’t look like Charles and yet (b) he looks strangely familiar, then you would be right on both counts. Davison replaced Harry Marcus, who played the younger Charles in series three. And Davison is familiar because he is the son of Peter Davison, known in our house as the fifth doctor. We salute Davison for having to wear one of the worst haircuts in Poldark so far, worse even than Prudie’s. (An extra drop of laudanum for Doctor Who fans: David Tennant is Charles’s brother-in-law, as Davison’s half-sister Georgia Moffatt is married to the 10th doctor. Don’t say I don’t spoil you with these facts.)
Classic Poldark lines
“Your beauty is legendary.” “As is your reputation, sir.” Frilly Blouse Man (I) gets his claim in early. Why do I feel this isn’t the last we have seen of him and his frilly blouse?
“When our elevation comes … it is our children who will benefit.” Yes, Evil George, which is why you are going to go absolutely batshit when you find out for certain that Valentine is not your child. (Am I right in thinking that Evil George has not actually managed to father any children yet?)
“Yes, Horace, you must stay and guard Miss Sarah.” Has the pug cursed the baby with the mark of Horace?
“I, on principle, always accept what ladies have to offer.” Oh Frilly Blouse Man (II), do take a cold shower.
Regulation reverse-sexism bare chest moment
Dr Enys took the bullet this week, bearing the brunt of the chest-baring in one manly swimming scene. Are those your favourite jodhpurs or are you just pleased to see us, Dwight? You could almost physically see Ross passing the baton with some relief. I hereby vote for Dr Enys to take over all chest-baring duties.
Next week
Trouble at the mine. Something terrible happens with Caroline, Dr Enys and the baby. Evil George feels he is still one step ahead. And the pig’s-tail-buttocked vicar attempts to have Morwenna committed so that he can suck her sister’s toes whenever he wants. Steel e’selves, ’Darkers!