Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I don't trust my boyfriend. I know this is an awful thing to say, but I have caught him lying about so many things, on so many different occasions, that I can't help but be suspicious about anything he tells me. I have tried to explain to him that his inability to be honest is damaging our relationship, but he is habituated to lying all the time, for reasons that make no sense to me. How do I get him to change? If he continues like this, I'm afraid I will have no choice, but to end this and move on, because I can't keep thinking about whether or not the things he tells me are genuine. Is there anything I can do?
Trust is one of the foundations of a relationship, so this will be a serious issue at some point if it isn't already one. If he doesn't get why honesty is important to you, and doesn't seem to recognise the fact that you can't take anything he says at face value, I'm afraid this relationship isn't going to go anywhere. Be straight about this with him, and tell him that this isn't going to work out unless he changes, and does so fast. There's nothing else you can do.
My friend wants me to consider a relationship with him, because he says we may be good together. I know we have a great time together, and like hanging out, but I don't know if I have any romantic feelings towards him. He says I will in time, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to get into a relationship. What should I do?
You're right; it doesn't sound like a good enough reason. If you don't have any feelings towards him, you may only end up jeopardising your friendship, so I suggest you tell him this as soon as possible to avoid things turning awkward between the two of you. Relationships can't be forced into being.
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