I've learned a lot from books, but the most crucial lessons have come from life's unofficial teachers: hard times and good people.
My son Cooper has played soccer since he was wee, when his royal blue Tim Bits jersey hung down to the tops of his tiny shin guards. His brothers played too, but of the three of them, Cooper has chosen to stick with it, and I'm glad.
Despite (or maybe because of) injuries, tough opponents, rough weather and mosquitoes the size of cats, he's learned tons about what he can accomplish, both individually and as part of a team.
He learned a lot during one of his U15 team's games on a recent cold, rainy evening in May.
In my 15 years of watching all three of my sons play the "beautiful game," I've never witnessed a display of unsportsmanlike conduct as shocking as our opponents provided that night.
From the start of the match, the opposing team pushed, tripped, stepped on and swore at our players. One of our goals was disallowed and these nitwits pranced around like they'd won the lottery.
When they weren't on the field, our guys huddled on the sidelines, cold and wet but still rooting on their teammates.
'That's my letter'
When the match finally ended, my injured son hobbled to the parking lot. I told him I would write a letter to the soccer association complaining about what had just occurred. Cooper shook his head and told me: "Mom, we just beat those guys 2-1. That's my letter."
Proud doesn't begin to describe how I felt.
The next day, his coach sent the team a message, praising their forbearance in the face of such dirty play.
"Every season there is a game that defines a team's character. Last night's game defined ours. Under adverse conditions, against a team that played fast and loose with the rules, we prevailed," it said. "We never quit, we kept fighting to the bitter end. That, my lads, is what I call character."
While I read that message aloud, I could almost hear Cooper's smile.
In short, my son got schooled: he learned that the choices you make define you. The actions you take define you. The disgraceful behaviour of others does not.
I have told him these same things endlessly, but learning it firsthand will likely cement it into his psyche far better than I could have.
Soccer moms learn, too
My son wasn't the only one who learned something that day.
Up until that match, I was skeptical of his coach. All reports seemed to point to a man who yelled often and loudly at his players; one that spent most practices making the boys do round after round of jumping jacks and other exercises, as opposed to teaching them strategy or skills.
Oh great, I thought: Yet another wannabe athlete taking out his frustrations on a bunch of defenceless kids.
What I learned was that, despite initially acting like the curmudgeon from Up, coach really cares for this team of 14- and 15-year-olds.
In the short time he's coached them, he has taught them to go high when others go low. He has instilled a sense of camaraderie and pride that I've never really seen in them before. Maybe it's also because they're finally growing up; it's hard to say for sure.
Cooper now says "Yes, sir" without irony, which, despite his usual courtesy in public, certainly wasn't the norm for him before. I can't help but attribute that change to the lessons Cooper and his teammates have learned from their coach.
In a world where "discipline" has been warped to mean punishment and "respect" is often equated with fear, coach has taught them the best part of each of those concepts.
Last weekend, Cooper's team was first in a tournament against another very strong team. At the medal ceremony, coach raved about each of his "lads," calling them out individually to claim their medals. He made every single boy feel like a star player.
In that moment, on a windswept, muddy field on the edge of the city, I realized that what he's done is taught them their own worth.
And that's a lesson everyone should learn.
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