As wars go, this one gained mileage more out of threats than actual action. Every now and then, North Korea will assert its nuclear might and America, on behalf of the world, will bristle and tighten its noose on the sanctions imposed on the offender. This went on for 68 years until the greatest joke yet of the year played out on June 12. The denuclearisation summit that unravelled in Singapore had all the ingredients for a great slapstick comedy, beginning with that much-touted handshake that had both the lead players walk in from left and right, while the world watched. A perfect setting for that slo-mo, if ever.

Boy look at that view. Wouldn’t that make a great condo?

And as far as comedy went, this one became a laugh-a-minute riot. So much so, it was easy to forget why Kim Jong-un was feared by his countrymen and why the Korean border was gripped in such tension all these years. The best lines, of course, as is the tradition these days, went to the POTUS. This one here took the cake: “They (North Korea) have great beaches. You see that whenever they’re exploding their cannons into the ocean. I said, ‘Boy look at that view. Wouldn’t that make a great condo?’,” is what president Trump told reporters after meeting Kim, apparently. With that kind of approach, world of course is going to rest in peace indeed.

He’s a very smart guy

When the incredulous media tried to point out that by breaking bread with a dicatator Trump might be sending the wrong signal to the world, he came up with more lines that were sheer lunacy. There’s nothing much to be done but laugh at the irony when the president of the most advanced of the countries says  “Hey, when you take over a country, tough country, with tough people, and you take it over from your father, I don’t care who you are, what you are, how much of an advantage you have – if you can do that at 27 years old, that’s one in 10,000 could do that. So he’s a very smart guy, he’s a great negotiator and I think we understand each other.”

Touchy, feely…

Much has been written about who held an upper hand. All the newspapers that mattered got hold of a body language expert who tore down the historic summit into million pieces to figure out who came out as the winner. The jury is still out on that, by the way. Washington Post, for instance, read the non-verbal clues and came to a conclusion that since Trump touched Kim more than necessary, he was more in control of the situation. But the North Korean media easily batted that one away with a googly that according to their tradition, younger ones do not touch or initiate handshakes with the older one. With that the power theory went for a sixer.

Read between lines

As is wont in such summits, when the agreement was drawn both the leaders were expected to sign the document with a flourish. Now, who better than Trump when it comes to doing things ‘with a flourish’ eh? In came two pens with his name monogrammed in gold, so that the moment is engraved in history forever as his. But Kim’s sharp as a tack sister, Kim Yo-jong, and a top-tier Pyongyang official, apparently, caught on the game and provided Kim a pen, which some reports say is a ballpoint pen and some fountain pen. But the point is: Kim rejected the black and gold number that Trump pulled out of his pocket. A potential slap in the face moment in our great comedy.

The open secret

According to Jeremy Page of Wall Street Journal, the real winner of the “historic summit” is China, which according to him, is setting its sights on a key role in North Korea’s future. “While China worried that its interests might get short-shrift in the Trump-Kim summit, the meeting unexpectedly proved favourable to Beijing. The summit’s vaguely worded agreement to pursue denuclearisation without providing details on how or when to achieve that goal gives Beijing time to lobby Washington, Seoul and Pyongyang for a direct role in negotiations,” is what he believes.

It could have been worse

For one, Kim could have walked out midway of that four-minute video that journalists are still trying to wrap their head around. That could have been a disaster, for, despite the theatrics, as New York Times writer Max Fisher points out, “almost any talks between the United States and North Korea… significantly reduce the risk of an accidental or unintended slide into war, which could kill millions.” Trump might have been one-upping when he said, “President Obama said that North Korea was our biggest and most dangerous problem. No longer - sleep well tonight!” But sleep does come easy when you know that as long they shake hands, the hands are off that red button. The farce that follows is a small price the world has to pay.

jemima.raman@mydigitalfc.com