Kristen McNerney: How can amazing people just give up on life?

With respect to two recent celebrity suicides, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, it is time to reflect. No amount of talent, success, wealth, fame, support, safety or security can counteract the misguided capabilities of the human mind.

Many of the dynamic individuals who struggle with depression and other mental illnesses feel things in extremes. One morning you’ll wake up and set 10 goals at once, plan a vacation, text a friend to meet up, apply for a handful of jobs, exercise vigorously, go on a shopping spree, make a scrapbook, call a senator, adopt a pet or read a novel. Even if you don’t do all of these things, you are still thinking about doing them without worrying about the obstacles you’ll face along the way.

A few hours later, you’ll feel completely hopeless. This is how chemically imbalanced brains work, and this is why many of the beautiful souls who have taken their own lives were the most ambitious, the most radical, the most creative, the most determined.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I want to do so many things when I don’t want to die,” you are not alone. Excitement and emotion comes all at once, until we feel overwhelmed and can’t handle the pressure we put ourselves under. Much of the time, we are confident in ourselves, brave and daring, employing innovative and unorthodox ways to tackle new challenges and learn new lessons. We are fully aware of our strength. At times, we don’t believe the incredible things we tell ourselves about who we are, what we mean to others, and what we can accomplish.

Mental illness is not ignorance of ourselves and our surroundings; it is a mask that covers the beautiful truth about our existence in this world. We know that we are important, we fear that we are not, and somehow we feel that both are true.

It is not our fault. The distortion is part of biology, just as any physical ailment is. We know how lucky we are and are grateful for everything that we have been blessed with. This makes it all the more devastating when we sometimes feel that through all the blessings, there is no hope. We are honest with ourselves and others and we want to make a difference in life around us. We feel deeply about the world, gravely affected by more than personal situations. We feel sick from sad news, wherever it may come from. We see beauty and promise in everything, and at the same time, sorrow.

Significantly altering our minds would make us indifferent, which is why our presence is needed on this earth. We are the healers, creative geniuses, and change-inducers of the world. We love just as easily as we are let down. We know that the darkness will pass, and the next day will be overjoyed with the rising sun and limitless possibilities that are graced upon us.

Sometimes we just get stuck. If you ever wonder, “how can these amazing people just give up and throw it all away?” know that they are amazing for the same reason that ultimately makes them suffer, and pray that they see past the heartbreak that plagues their ever-changing minds and souls every day.