Since filing for divorce from Hank Baskett, Kendra Wilkinson is doing her best to stay positive.
“Kendra is not in the best place right now,” a source tells PEOPLE. “She’s trying to convince herself she’s happy, but she’s not.”
“During their marriage, Kendra and Hank went through all the right steps to make it work, and while there seemed to be some great and positive changes for them as a couple and as individuals, she struggled to deal with everything fully. She was hiding,” says the source.
An insider adds, “She’s been through a lot, but she’s doing as well as can be expected. She has good days and bad days. But she knows she made the right decision.”
On Tuesday, the Kendra On Top star posted a since-deleted tweet, which read, “Why is Hank recording me right now. Please tell him to leave me alone and stop.”
After almost nine years of marriage and two kids, the former Playboy model, 32, filed for divorce in April from the former football player, 35, citing irreconcilable differences, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE. She listed their separation date as Jan. 1.
Their marriage was rocked by scandal in 2014 when Baskett allegedly had an affair with a transgender model while Wilkinson was eight months pregnant.
The TV reality star is requesting joint legal and physical custody of their two children and is also seeking the restoration of her maiden name, Wilkinson.
“I’m doing the best I can in my life with the cards I’ve been dealt and I will continue to do that. I’m hurt because the world I thought was promised to me forever is now coming to an end,” Wilkinson wrote on Instagram in May.
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Since announcing their split, Wilkinson has been vocal about her ups and downs.
“I’m starting to box things up and my heart can’t hurt any more. I need prayers n strength today. I worked so hard for my home,” Wilkinson wrote on her Instagram Story, along with a photo of an empty cardboard box, in May.
“My pride and joy wall is coming down,” the mother of two also captioned a picture of her framed family portraits featuring son Hank IV, 8, and daughter Alijah Mary, 3.
“I’m not perfect with the way I’m reacting to my pain sometimes but I am getting stronger,” she continued. “My kids, mom, dad, friends n therapy have been helping. I’ll be able to breathe again soon. Love will always win in my heart and will never go a day without being there for the people I love n yes him. Even with the pain I’m experiencing.”
Last month, Wilkinson asked her Twitter followers when the right time is to move on from her past relationship.
“What’s your opinion… do i start dating/sex now or give myself more time? My heart is broken but i have needs. Lmaoooo #gimmelovin #notgettingyounger #33hereicome,” Wilkinson tweeted, along with a spider web emoji and a grandma emoji.
