Why the Shiny Nude Pump Must Die

The flesh-colored heels don’t make your legs look as long as women’s magazines insist. And they look like hooves. Here, some better, saner options

AS A GENERAL RULE, I try to avoid anything that reminds me of imitation skin. At the top of that list is the ubiquitous nude, patent-leather platform pump. Flesh-like and plasticky, slightly blunt at the toe, it can make a human limb resemble that of a blowup doll. And that’s just not my thing.

Closed-toed, with an inch-thick sole (more or less) under the ball of the foot and a spiky stiletto heel, these shiny shoes have become a staple for women searching for dressy, neutral, go-with-everything footwear. Champions of the...