One wag has worked out that if every follower of the YouTube star Tanya Burr bought a ticket to see her professional acting debut, it would fill Southwark Playhouse for 87 years. But Rob Drummer’s dreary, ill-pitched revival of Judy Upton’s 20-year-old end-of-the-pier play is more likely to empty the house.
Confidence is set in a failing 1990s seaside resort, neatly designed by Amelia Jane Hankin, complete with neon-signed kiosks, swirly carpets and plastic chairs. Burr is cast as Ella, a latter-day Becky Sharp, who is not alone in wanting to get out of this hellhole but is the only one with the nous to be able to do so.
Ella is shameless in her attempts to get ahead. She plays two brothers off against each other: the dim and over-cocky Ben (Rhys Yates), and the puppyish ice-cream salesman Dean (Will Pattle), who demonstrates his adoration by finding a novel use for chocolate flakes. She also tries to manipulate the shady pier landlord Edwin (Lace Akpojaro) when she sets about fleecing tourists.
It’s a tricky role, and while Burr captures Ella’s on-the-make steeliness, she never discovers the charm to make you root for the character. Her flat delivery, and often oddly stressed sentences, crush the comedy dead. It’s an evening that sometimes feels as desperate as its characters, but there is one survivor: Anna Crichlow gives a lovely deadpan turn as waitress Ruby, who proves that losers sometimes hit the jackpot.
• At Southwark Playhouse, London, until 16 June. Box office: 020-7407 0234.