Happy Mondays: What is in your chocolate box of fear?
WHAT is in your chocolate box of fear? Brittle, hard or bitter soft centres hard to swallow.
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There’s a flavour for everyone.
Anxiety, depression, sadness or worry?
Perhaps it’s people pleasing, envy and resentment.
Procrastination is also there as is overthinking too.
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Which one is your particular favourite?
Almost every negative human emotion and painful psychic feeling comes down to fear.
Fear of not being good enough, of being rejected, hurt, found failing or left lonely.
Keep looking behind the bad thought and you’ll see the big multi-headed monster of fear lurking behind it.
We may have many coping mechanisms to combat the beast be it denial, addictions or avoidance.
Far better to look the fear in the eye and dissolve it with kindness and understanding.
This is just one of the countless tools and techniques in a helpful new book Fear Less by Lou Hamilton (Orion Spring, £12.99).
Lou is an award-winning documentary maker, artist, writer and coach who has pulled together tried and tested coaching tips and threaded them around her own journey through personal fear to a place of courage and calm.
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anyone can do it but my guarantee is if you don’t do it, it won’t work
The beautiful, quietly spoken and diminutive author packs some big guns when she says she know about terror
In Fear Less she recalls the night of December 21 1968, when Pam Am Flight 103 exploded in a bombing over the town of Lockerbie where she was living.
Later working on a documentary with soldiers who had been in combat, the author realised that she too was suffering with PTSD after being mugged in London after moving away from the traumas of Scotland.
“I have always been full of fear even as a child. I was even frightened of the slide,” she laughs.
She found therapy too complicated and it was coaching that really helped her create supportive physical and mental habits to move her to a place of quiet confidence and facing life head on.
In Fear Less you will find breathing techniques, mindfulness tips, creative ways to boost self esteem and core coaching questions to help unlock the hidden pay-offs and causes of held fears.
An unusual practice is to write down a question with your dominant hand and answer it with your other hand
The book helps you set goals and envision a future and create a brave new you.
Given that humans are complicated creatures and what works for some may not work for others, overcoming fears is something that takes time and commitment so Lou does offer one great guarantee.
“Anyone can do it but my guarantee is if you don’t do it, it won’t work”.
AS the evenings are light and fine why not boost your happiness levels with a bit of la passeggiata?
In Italy it is a time for a gentle walk at dusk, enjoying an ice cream or sharing a drink.
Whether socialising with friends or just people watching, it makes you feel part of the community and connection creates wellbeing.
Being a dad isn’t just a role to play
MY hero of the week is Liam Gallagher for being an absent father with good intentions.
Last week he met his daughter Molly Moorish, pictured, for the first time in 19 years.
Due to an estrangement with her mother the former Oasis front man had been unable to connect with her.
He said “The girl’s been looked after and clothed and sent to lovely schools. I bought them a house and all that tack. I think she’s better off with her mum”.
The reunion with father, his sons and daughter went well.
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So far removed from the rift Anthony Hopkins revealed when he said he hasn’t seen his daughter Abigail for years and doesn’t know if he has grandchildren and neither did he care.
When told that his comment sounded cold he replied, “Well, it is cold. Because life is cold.”
He went on to say we don’t have to love our families.
We all make choices in our lives and we can choose to see life as cold and of the self or beautiful and full of potential and love.
Being a father isn’t a role you can shake off at will, Anthony, it’s the most important part you will play in your life.