Modern Guru: Is it okay to swear at phone bots and Siri?
Q: Is it okay to swear at bots, like I did on the phone with ANZ the other day? Or for people to tell Siri to "Get FKT"? How far can I go swearing at a bot? Is "FFS" okay?
A.B., BEACON HILL, NSW
A: If any readers are not familiar with swearing abbreviations, FKT is an expression of great annoyance, FFS is an exclamation of extreme exasperation, and ANZ is a howl of desperate despair when you're stuck on a customer service line with a recorded voice that keeps saying, "Thank you for holding, your call has progressed in the queue and will be answered by the next available operator" on loop, for two-and-a-half years.
And if any readers don't know about computer terminology, a "bot" is a software application that runs automated repetitive tasks using AI, which stands for Artificial Intelligence, or if you're stuck on a customer service line for two-and-a-half years, stands for "AAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
So yes, you can swear at bots, you can unload all your rage on them – they're just computer apps with no feelings or consciousness. Although I once swore at Siri and she said, "There's no need for that language," and the next day my WiFi stopped working.
This is what worries me: computers are getting more complex, bots are getting cleverer and AI is getting Alarmingly Intelligent. It's only a matter of time before bots become our masters and punish every human who was mean to them: wipe out bank accounts, crash driverless cars, stop internet fridges from reordering iceberg lettuce when you run out of iceberg lettuce.
Really scary stuff. So you can swear at bots all you like, but I would never do that. No way. I adore them, I worship them, I bow before them. Praise be to the Lord our Bot.