Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I dated a girl for a while and she told me I was the first guy she had gone out with. When she asked if I would consider a relationship with her, I agreed because I felt sorry for her. It's been six months and I still don't have any feelings for her, but she is madly in love with me because, obviously, I am her first boyfriend. I don't know what to do. Whenever we go out, it feels as if I am lying to her because I have to pretend to be interested. I can't even tell her how I really feel because it will devastate her and probably make her hate all men forever. What do I do? I feel like an awful human being and want this to stop before she is really hurt. I like her a lot as a person, so I don't want to break her heart.
You may have your heart in the right place, but pretending to like someone just to make them feel better doesn't make you a better person, despite what you may think. You owe it to yourself and, more importantly, to her, to be honest about this because it will be harder to explain as time goes on. She will probably hate you, and for very good reasons, but will also come to understand that not all men are alike because that is what relationships teach us about human beings. If you are worried about breaking her heart, that will be inevitable when you tell her you don't have any feelings for her. All you can do is try and get her to understand why this isn't working out, without pointing out that you agreed to this out of pity. What you say will affect her as much as your decision, so think about this carefully before you speak. Do tell her though, because it's unfair. And, the next time you think of something like this, please be honest to yourself.
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