OFFBEAT

Cut the crap: a whodungit

Warning: Duelling with a restroom renegade is not for the faint of heart

The tricky thing about poosters is that you never quite know who they are. It's virtually impossible to catch them in action; you can't quite spy on them, so you only know they've been there after they've done their business.

BT ILLUSTRATION: YU KEXIN

LAST Saturday, I woke up to an alert that someone had taken a dump in my apartment complex's swimming pool. There was even a photo sent around as proof - true enough, amid the shimmering blue waters, there sat a sizeable turd.

Absurd, I thought. Who would even think of pooping in a pool?