The bending-down

Amongst orthodox Hindu families, especially those in and from northern India, there is a culture of younger people paying obeisance to elders by touching the ground before them and later touching one’s eyes, or even fully prostrating before them with folded hands held forward, in what is referred to as saashtanga namaskaaram.

Sometimes the act morphs into a quick “bend and touch” of the elders’ feet by the youngster, with the touch being transferred to the forehead of the latter. This gesture is symbolic of seeking blessings from elders who are equated with God. The act indeed turns into a furious and frequent ritual during traditional family celebrations and ceremonies, with every youngster bowing before his or her elder, who in turn bows to his or her elder and so on. A good form of exercise, and a scene to watch, indeed!

It’s a different matter that some elders vociferously protest against this culture. Their reasons may be varied, from a sense of embarrassment to plain disbelief in such practices. Mere outward show of respect is looked upon with disdain by some, as such outward manifestation of apparent respect seems a sham to the lot.

At times I have seen ladies bowing on purpose before other ladies to highlight the fact that they are younger than them. The difference in age may be merely a couple of months! I had seen a newly-wed girl bowing before her saas and sasur at every other instance, plainly out of nervousness. They were no doubt secretly thrilled, but things came to a head when they were to travel along with their bahu. Even as they loaded their belongings into the car, the anxious girl bent and touched their feet, only to be mildly chided by the father-in-law as she was travelling along with them and not seeing them off! It certainly left the family members who witnessed the scene, mighty amused.

When I was newly married I realised that the prostration-before-elders thingy was not indoctrinated in my husband but he quickly turned ‘pro’, taking the cue from me. We, as newly-weds, had a lot of visitors at my maternal home during the initial days of our wedding. People who had missed out on the occasion would come to wish the newly-weds, and a few wedding attendees visited to exchange pleasantries, and at times to extend invites to the newly-weds. My mother would call me to the drawing room, and out I would come with husband in tow. My mother would then make a silent gesture, upon which we would both fall at the visitors’ feet and seek blessings.

Once it so happened that when my mother called me, the husband, who was nearby, entered the drawing room with utmost confidence, to greet the guest as per the norm. Without waiting for my mother’s signal, he fell at the feet of the guest. The guest, who was none other than a physician, jumped up and started trying to assist my husband in what seemed to him as a search under the sofa. The doctor had presumed that he had bent down to search for something, as the doctor was not our relation, and a prostration before him was unthinkable! I had rushed to the venue of the scene a tad late, and found it hard to suppress my guffaw at hubby’s faux paus, and the doctor’s dilemma.

So the lesson: watch who it is before you bend down.

sandhya.vasudev@gmail.com