Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I want to marry my girlfriend, but she wants us to wait for two years more. She doesn't have a good reason for this. How do I get her to change her mind?
Her good reasons don't have to match your idea of a good reason. If you love her, and she needs time, it all boils down to whether or not you are willing to wait.
A week or two after my boyfriend and I began dating, he said some nasty things about women. When we decided to get into a relationship, he apologised for all the things he said and I forgave him. Now, whenever we get into a fight, he says the same nasty things to me. He always apologises later, but I get the feeling he is just pretending to be someone he is not, just so he can continue to keep our relationship alive. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know how to treat women with respect and only pretends to because he doesn't want to be single. Should I confront him and ask him to behave or just end this?
If you believe he is pretending to be someone he is not, and has views about women that you find derogatory, you really should put your foot down and tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable. We are living in a time when women are finally speaking up about all kinds of harassment that they have been forced to put up with for too long. You deserve to be with someone who respects not just you, but all women, and your boyfriend needs to understand this as well. As for him doing this to avoid being single, maybe he just doesn't deserve to be in a relationship if he has these ideas about gender that have no place in society anymore. I suggest you confront him, tell him how you feel, and let him understand that it may take time, but there will eventually be consequences for one's actions.
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