I met my girlfriend around a year ago and moved to a new job to be in the same city as her. Things are going quite well and I have a very good feeling about our relationship
I met my girlfriend around a year ago and moved to a new job to be in the same city as her. Things are going quite well and I have a very good feeling about our relationship. I am 32 and she is a year younger. While I grew up abroad, my parents fit the stereotype of traditional, conservative Indians with regards to relationships. The challenge is my girlfriend was divorced a few years ago due to an unhealthy and abusive marriage. I recently told my parents I was seeing someone, but didn't say much else. When and how should I tell them about her divorce? I would prefer it if they got to know her a bit first, and see how happy the relationship makes me before mentioning it. My brother says I should tell them right away. My girlfriend and I are unsure, as we don't want my parents to have a negative image of her, but I don't want them to feel as if I lied to them either.
- Srihari P
First of all, you are not lying to your parents; you are simply taking their feelings into consideration and presenting your girlfriend to them under the most comfortable circumstances possible. You intend to tell them about her divorce at some point anyway. Don't look at this as withholding information. Your fiancee deserves to be treated as a person first, rather than someone who has been divorced, because that aspect of her life is immaterial. Her past shouldn't matter, because it's your future together that you and your parents are concerned about. I suggest you let them get to know who she is and what she is like, because that is the most important thing, and is what drew you to her in the first place. Also, do keep in mind that your parents may be traditional, but you are probably under-estimating their capacity to be accommodating and open-minded. They may surprise you at some point, so don't over-think this.
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