First NZ couple to both be called 'mother' on their baby's birth certificate say language matters
The mothers of baby Evie, Jess, left and Stacy.
From "other" to "mother" – a Nelson lesbian couple have shared what it means to both be named mum on their daughter's birth certificate.
Jess and Stacy, who don't want their surnames used, were shocked to discover they couldn't both be listed as "mother" to their daughter Evie, born in August last year.
"Evie was biologically mine," Jess said. "But because Stacy gave birth she was classed as the mother and I wasn't, even though she was genetically my child, so that was a kick in the guts."
The couple had been through two-and-a-half years of fertility treatment, involving trips to Christchurch and medication for Jess in order to harvest her eggs.
READ MORE: History made as Nelson couple listed as 'mother' and 'mother' on birth certificate
"We had Evie and applied for a birth certificate and that's when we came across the issue of not being able to have two mothers on the birth certificate," Jess said.
The pair conceived Evie using Jess' egg, a donor sperm, and had the the embryo transferred to Stacy.
Mothers Jess, left, and Stacy say a change to their daughter's birth certificate is about more than just a piece of paper, it's about not being kept in the "other" category.
The original birth certificate listed Stacy as "mother", but Jess as "other parent".
Stacy said the language mattered.
"Being labelled as 'other', because it wasn't just being named 'parent', I think that might have been okay, it was being labelled as 'other parent'. We're always put in the 'other' category," she said.
The only way Jess could have been listed as mother would have been for her to adopt Evie.
After publicity related to Fertility Week late last year, Auckland lawyer Stewart Dalley offered to help the couple pro-bono and they made a complaint to the Human Rights Commission.
"The rest is kind of history really. The Department of Internal Affairs looked into it, and there was a mediation planned but it didn't need to go that far," Jess said.
The department confirmed the recording of parental titles on life event certificates, including births, marriages and deaths, has been expanded.
The couple have won their bid to both be named as mum to baby Evie, after the Department of Internal Affairs agreed to expand how they list parents on birth certificates.
Spokesperson Steve Corbett said it allows two female parents to both be recorded on a birth certificate as the child's 'Mother', where that child was conceived using assisted reproductive techniques such as artificial insemination.
It would also include male same-sex couples, but in those cases it was a slightly different route as those couples had to adopt the child, as neither had physically given birth.
Jess and Stacy had both shed happy tears over the arrival of the new birth certificate because although just a piece of paper, it was "so much more than that".
"Everyone's different, some people won't think it's that significant and others will," Jess said. "I think for us it was more about being recognised ... it was more the fact that we were seen differently from a heterosexual couple."
They were grateful for both the legal advice and support Dalley had provided through the process.
The change has seen Jess, left, go from being named as "other parent" on baby Evie's birth certificate, to "mother".
As far as he knew, Dalley said Evie's birth certificate was the first time two mothers had been recorded in a case of a child conceived through artificial reproductive technology (ART).
"It potentially affects over 1000 children who could have their birth certificates amended now.
"And the way society is progressing, l think the other change that's been noted is that irrespective of how a child is conceived in the future, the parents of any description will be able to select either mother, father, or parent, so that potentially impacts on transgender people ..."
- Stuff
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