So, how does one maintain one’s sanity through this journey of parenthood? (Source: Getty Images)
With all the advice that’s doled out during pregnancy, the one thing that everyone fails to mention is the infinite doubt and gnawing guilt that comes with each delivery. It’s a bottomless pit and for some strange reason, it only affects the mother. The father remains completely impervious to its vicious lure.
From the time the child is born, thoughts like, ‘Am I holding it correctly?’, ‘Oh no, I just said it. How could I have called my child it?’, ‘Am I feeding him right? Am I feeding him enough?’, ‘I’m so tired. Go to sleep! What kind of a mother am I? I can’t even get my own child to sleep’, ‘He’s a year old. He’s not walking. Do I carry him too much? Maybe I should put him down more.’ And so it goes on…
Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mother, the one thing that we all have in common is guilt. Sometimes, a little guilt is good, since it shows that you care. But at other times, the guilt can overwhelm you and the sad truth is, there is not much that one can do about it. As soon as you resolve one situation and make peace with it, another one crops up in its place.
So, how does one maintain one’s sanity through this journey of parenthood? Trust your instincts. You know your child the best. You know what works and what doesn’t. You also know what works for you and your family as a whole. There are plenty of experts out there, follow the one that fits in best with your own ideologies.
It’s important to filter the advice you receive. Not all advice is good. Also, stop comparing yourself to other mothers as this is not a parenting competition. You only need to focus on yourself and your child. Make sure to surround yourself with like-minded people. Other mothers who think like you can make a huge difference and also work as your support system.
One thing that you need to understand is that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all do our best under the circumstances. We have all made mistakes and will continue to do so. The key is in acknowledging where we have gone wrong and being honest about it to ourselves and our children. Attempting to be a super mom all the time, will only make things worse for you. Let some things slide, because your child only needs love and a happy you.
If you do need to work on something, make a list of the areas that you feel need improvement. Put a plan in place and make small changes towards them. Give it time, just don’t expect things to change overnight.
Learn to look at the bigger picture. Don’t get caught up in the small stuff. Some days will be easier than others. Ask yourself if this will matter a few years from now. For now, take a deep breath, because tomorrow will be better.