Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
We have split up a few times over the past year for a number of reasons, some of which were valid and a lot of which were just stupid. We have always come back though, because we thought this relationship could work. We had a massive fight three weeks ago and my girlfriend said she was never coming back. I didn't take it very seriously, but she hasn't even sent me a message since then and doesn't take my calls. I am afraid that she has really ended it for good this time, and I don't know what to do. I want her back and think we can make this work, but she isn't going to give me another chance. How do I convince her that I will change and make this happen?
If this has been happening a number of times in the past, I'm not sure what you can do to convince her that this time will be any different. Why should she believe you anyway, if you have tried to make this work in the past and failed? What are you doing now that she will believe is different? The more important thing to focus on is whether you have tried to analyse why there have been so many instances of you both ending it. Do you think there is enough in your relationship to make it work, or that you are both at different places in terms of how you see each other? Have either of you ever sat down and tried to analyse, together, why you have walked away as often as you both have? Getting in touch with her is easy, because you can always send her a message in some way, but maybe what she needs or is looking for is a commitment towards trying and sorting this out. Then again, if she has really had enough, you may not have an option but to respect her decision. You have both had enough chances, after all.
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