“Toujours l’attaque,” as Napoleon Bonaparte used to say. And in fairness to the wee man, he stuck to his word, even when it proved not the wisest course of action in Russia.
Two hundred-odd years on, a similarly crazy plan might just work for Didier Deschamps, so awash with attacking talent that he chooses between Kylian Mbappé, Thomas Lemar, Ousmane Dembélé and Anthony Martial to play off his favoured striking pair of Antoine Griezmann, and, yes, Olivier Giroud.
There are further, wilder cards to lob in. Dimitri Payet, who flashed so brightly during Euro 2016’s early rounds, is back in form for Marseille while Wissam Ben Yedder, futsal king turned Sevilla’s José Mourinho slayer, is another option.
In exile languishes Karim Benzema, who has not played for his country since October 2015, the fall-out from being accused of blackmailing former team-mate Mathieu Valbuena still yet to clear. “I am 30 years old, I have two children, I am calm here, if you need me, you know where I am,” was Benzema’s message to Deschamps in this week’s Spanish edition of Vanity Fair.
Midfield options are almost as plentiful. At 27, N’Golo Kanté is the elder statesman whose discipline allows Paul Pogba to be licentious in a manner Mourinho wholly disapproves of, while Adrien Rabiot strolls with the deportment of Alexandre Dumas’ Musketeers.
Deschamps has also managed to mould a first-choice defence, with a Clásico combination of Barcelona’s Samuel Umtiti and Real Madrid’s Raphaël Varane at its core meaning there is no need to rely on a traumatised Arsenal defender in Laurent Koscielny. Barça’s Lucas Digne and Monaco’s Djibril Sidibé are the full-backs.
That has the makings of as talented a French squad as any since Deschamps was partnering Zinedine Zidane in midfield but here the notes of caution must be sounded. In goal, captain Hugo Lloris’s reputation is taking something of a pounding for his Tottenham performances, while many of those who will be lining up in front of him are hardly in their rarest form.
Pogba oscillates wildly between being Manchester United’s maverick driving heartbeat to being plain terrible at football, while club-mate Martial has announced himself as a successor to Nicolas “Le Sulk” Anelka in more ways than one.
As Chelsea’s season lurches, there are suspicions Kanté’s engine has finally blown a gasket. And then there are the attendant distractions that having much of the squad linked with transfers can bring: Griezmann for Barcelona; Pogba for anywhere but United, with the same going for Martial; Mbappé, to be sold to foot PSG’s FFP bill. All are widely speculated for the coming summer.
What of Deschamps himself? A conservative management style has served to augment the “water carrier” cuss that Eric Cantona landed on him around two decades back. All the gear and no idea is the accusation against France’s coach, and the quasi-4-4-2 formation he prefers, with the agricultural option of Giroud as its counterpoint, looks about as modern as one of Boney’s battle plans.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“I have a girlfriend, but during physiotherapy, she has to wait. I play poker, which is my favourite hobby, while treating my injury. I play video games at my computer while treating my injury. My day basically begins at nine, 10am and it goes until 9pm while treating my injury” – Neymar rejects accusations he should have been watching Paris Saint-Germain matches rather than employing the medicinal effects of poker hands.
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FIVEЯ LETTERS
“Does the World Cup Fiver realise that the inverted R in Russian is actually a vowel, ‘ya’? In other words, you’ve come up with FiveЯ, or Fiveya, to rhyme with Nivea!” – Victor Kruchinkin [still closer than we expected – FiveЯ Ed].
“By all means have Jonjo Shelvey on the plane (last week’s Bits and Bobs) as long as Gareth Southgate invites him to ‘do one’ at 30,000ft. This would be the time for him to give ‘careful consideration’ as to whether he should be given a parachute” – Stewart Richmond.
“Re: ‘Harry Kane is the first man to score 1,000 goals in a season’ (last week’s World Cup FiveЯ). I think you’ll find that was actually a calendar year, which is completely different and utterly meaningless” – Dan Makeham.
“I was impressed by last week’s picture of the Panini sticker album for Brasil 1970 until I saw the photo credit – Panini! Couldn’t you have used a snap of your own album? Surely you have every single Panini album ever? I would be most disappointed to learn that you haven’t. And surprised, frankly” – Robin Hazlehurst.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com with “The FiveЯ” in the subject line. Or just “World Cup Fiver” if that’s easier. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver.
THE RECAP
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BITS AND BOBS
Fifa has charged World Cup hosts Russia with fan racism directed at black France players in the 3-1 defeat in St Petersburg last month.
Kyle Walker is optimistic about England’s chances in Russia, believing the side will need only “a miracle” to win the World Cup, rather than the huge, apocalyptical, Big Bang-esque miracle that it would actually take.
Fifa has said that no bears will be used in the World Cup’s opening ceremony after concerns were raised when a circus bear was filmed performing for a crowd at a match in the Russian third tier.
To add to Argentina’s many problems, Sergio Agüero has undergone surgery to repair knee-knack and may not be fit in time to face Iceland in their opening match on 16 June.
Philippe Coutinho is going back to Liverpool … but only to face Croatia for Brazil in a World Cup warm-up at Anfield on 3 June.
Police in Peru have seized 20,000 counterfeit Panini sticker albums with a “street value” of £250,000, or 1.5m Ryan Bertrand swaps.
Fans in Russia will be able to watch replays of VAR decisions on giant screens, accompanied by a written explanation. Nothing can go wrong now!
And Zlatan Ibrahimovic says he’ll be a-World Cupping come summer. “A World Cup without me wouldn’t be a World Cup,” he parped, having apparently hitched a lift back to 2013.
STILL WANT MORE?
Let Rob Smyth remind you just how jaw-droppingly brilliant Dennis Bergkamp’s goal against Argentina at France 98 was in this here World Cup stunning moment.
Joe Hart’s clangers are almost as high-profile as the revamped kids’ TV show of the same name, but his caps alone will probably earn him a place on England’s plane, writes Ed Aarons.
As political turmoil engulfs the Ethics World Cup, you can rely on Fifa to focus on squeezing 48 teams into the next one, writes Marina Hyde.
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