“While Fox News was unaware of Sean Hannity’s informal relationship with Michael Cohen and was surprised by the announcement in court yesterday, we have reviewed the matter and spoken to Sean and he continues to have our full support.” — Fox statement when Sean Hannity was revealed as Michael Cohen’s third client after having failed to disclose this information on air
We at Fox News continue to have rigorous standards, and Sean Hannity continues to uphold them.
He has not criticized Donald Trump in thought, word or deed, by anything he has done or anything he has left undone.
He has not failed to love Donald Trump with his whole heart, his whole mind, his whole strength.
He has not held any other gods before Donald Trump.
He has not sacrificed anything — food, drink, integrity — to a deity other than Donald Trump.
He has not failed to denounce Hillary Clinton and all her works.
All his graphics have pointed to Hillary Clinton as the ultimate mastermind of all that is wrong in the country — even graphics of great complexity.
He has not lent credence to anything said by James B. Comey, by way of graphic or gesture.
During evenings when there is breaking news related to ethical problems for the Trump administration, he has been careful to discuss some unrelated subject in great detail.
He has not taken Donald Trump’s name in vain.
He has devoted several segments to a gruesomely irresponsible conspiracy theory about a DNC staffer who was murdered, and there hasn’t really ever been a retraction of any kind, but the man in question was not Donald Trump, so — no harm, no foul.
He has been relentless in his pursuit of Hillary Clinton’s crimes and shall continue to strive until at last we arrive at the glorious day of her impeachment and judgment.
He has not appeared in ads for any presidential candidates who are NOT Donald Trump.
He has certainly not advised anyone who is NOT Donald Trump about anything.
He has continued to part his hair in the agreed-upon place.
He understands that “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul?” is not a rhetorical question.
He is Donald Trump’s most trusted informal adviser, which just shows his integrity and probity. If he and Donald Trump have the same lawyer, that just means this lawyer is REALLY GOOD. If he does not feel content sharing that fact with his viewers, we can only trust him to continue to show the kind of excellent judgment he has done before.
No further questions, please. Our faith in Hannity is strong. He has observed our code to the letter. Our faith in him is unshaken.
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