IMAGINE YOU are a piece of birch veneer plywood, 4x8 feet, ¾-inch thick, lying quietly in the lumber department of your local home-improvement store. So far life as a wood-based product is not bad. Birch veneer, that’s the good stuff.
Suddenly, a bright light. A man heaves you onto a trolley. The lady with the price-reader zaps your behind and then you’re outside. You brace yourself for the chilly ride in the back of a pickup, but no: Your new master clicks the remote and a power hatchback rises in the parking lot. It can’t...