Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I was extremely overweight in college, which used to trouble me a lot. I spent years avoiding social events and parties because I was so conscious of how my classmates looked at me. There were a lot of jokes, and even though most of them were very sweet, I began to avoid them simply because it was safer to stay home. It's been five years since I graduated and I have lost of a lot of weight since then. I now look like an average person for my age, but I still avoid social events. My friends try their best to ask me out, but I don't even go and watch movies with them because I feel conscious of how people will react. I know this is childish and doesn't make sense, but I still have a problem with how guys may look at me. In my mind, it feels as if they are still judging me. How do I get rid of this feeling?
The fact that you are aware of this problem is good, because it means you will eventually be able to get over it. It can't be easy, obviously, considering how long it has taken you to put aside those years of feeling self-conscious, and it's extremely hard to deal with this in a world so obsessed with how people look. I think speaking to a counsellor about this will help, because healing is a slow process that has to come from within. It is only when you can acknowledge the existence of a problem and recognise that you need to put it behind you that you will be able to move on. And you deserve to move on. The cliché that it's what's on the inside that matters is difficult to accept, so I empathise with how you feel. You owe it to yourself and your future though, so please speak to someone about this as soon as you can. It may not be as difficult to control as you think.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com
Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates