NOIDA: Students often use the last page of a notebook to scribble.
Ekisha Sah did, too. She practised her signature, writing crisscross with a blue pen on the ruled page. Within this scroll, she also repeatedly wrote, "I am failure", as well as "I am dumb" and "I hate myself".
The last page of the notebook seized by police from Ekisha's study table holds a key into the mental state of the 16-year-old girl who committed suicide on Tuesday, less than a week after her Class IX exam results were declared and she was asked to sit for a re-test in two subjects.
The thick notebook had mathematical calculations on the first few pages. The rest of it was blank, except the last page. Alongside it lay a social science book, one of the subjects she needed to take a re-test in. On the walls were photos of her during various dance performances.
Her father
Raghav Sah said Ekisha was a trained Kathak dancer but her teachers forced her to believe she was a failure. "They used to say she would not be able to do anything in life. She was repeatedly humiliated over studies. Ekisha was pained over these comments," he claimed.
Ekisha's school report card, however, commends her for being an "excellent" dancer. Her mother
Deepmala Nutan said Ekisha was stressed over the exam results. "Ekisha had told us not to share the results with anyone. I assured her the result will be kept a secret. I told her exam results do not matter in life. I even bought her books for Class X and boosted her morale," she said.
Raghav said Ekisha wanted to take part in a dance reality show. "Sometimes, she also said she would like to become a doctor or a lawyer," Nutan said. The girl, family members said, was troubled for the last 3-4 months. Her brother Aryan, who also studied at
Ahlcon Mayur Vihar till Class X, said two teachers were known to harass students.
