Harry Potter’s Take on the 2018 Lexus LC 500

You remember him as the The Chosen One, and he’s best known for having vanquished the dark wizard Lord Voldemort. These days he works a desk job as the Head of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic. He and his wife, Ginny, are raising three kids, two of whom are currently enrolled at Hogwarts. And although we muggles envision wizards such as Potter whooshing everywhere on magical broomsticks like the Nimbus 2000 or Firebolt or simply apparating from one location to another, all of that takes a lot of energy and involves considerable risk. So at the end of a long day at the office, the well-off wizard craves the same comfort and style we all do. We caught up with Potter at the Ministry’s Universal Studios Orlando branch to talk muggle-mobiles over a couple of frosty butterbeers.

Motor Trend I couldn’t help noticing that sleek Lexus LC 500 parked in the space with your name on it out front. What made you choose that car?

Harry Potter When it comes to muggle transportation, I’m just like any regular bloke—I read buff books like yours. I eagerly read Motor Trend’s Best Drivers’ Car piece, took one look at that Lexus, and bam! It was like I’d been hit with one of Professor Slughorn’s Amortentia potions. I simply had to have one exactly like it.

MT But that one finished in eighth place, and surely a man of your, ahem, “abilities” could have any car on that list if you put your mind and wand to it …

HP [Sighs] Surely you must know it’s not as simple as that. Otherwise why would the Weasleys have been flying around in that doddering, miserable Ford Anglia? No, I had to make a substantial withdrawal from my vault at Gringotts for this one. But more to your point, I can accelerate, brake, and corner infinitely harder on my broom than even Randy Pobst, Chris Walton, or Kim Reynolds can in a Ferrari 488, so that’s not really the point. (And it’s absolutely the reason I passed on the $5,960 Performance package!)

MT Ah, but you did opt for the higher-performing, angrier-sounding, more consumptive V-8 instead of the earth-friendlier hybrid LC 500h. If you don’t mind my saying, that seems a rather Slytherin choice. I’d have pegged a Gryffindor man such as yourself as a hybrid buyer.

HP You know the sorting hat might have gotten it wrong with me! [Chuckles] Just kidding. I did it to save $4,510. And have you heard that V-8 roar? It’s like the distant shriek of a mandrake root echoing through the dark forest. Absolute muggle magic. Listen, I’d love to chat longer, but I’ve got a splitting headache from this blasted scar, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to disapparate off to Hogwarts to sort out a problem between my Slytherin-house son, Albus, and his new “friend,” Scorpius Malfoy. Kids these days! But hey, I won’t be using the Lexus for a while. I absolutely insist you take it for a spin—just have it back in a week.

MT Wow, thanks! That’s very generous. Good luck!

As it happens, I was planning to spend a week in Florida visiting friends and relatives and attending a wedding, so I parked my Alamo rental Mitsubishi Mirage and transferred our luggage. As we unloaded two roller bags, a duffle, and two briefcases from the frumpy hatchback, it looked like too much for the sleek coupe’s trunk, but lo and behold everything fit. Potter must have charmed his trunk like Perkins’ tent or Hermione Granger’s beaded bag.

Our first visit was with cousin Raymond. Ray collects classic cars, so we offered to drive him to lunch in this oh so sexy Lexus, with my partner, Mike, volunteering to squeeze into the—sadly uncharmed—rear seat. He only fit with the front seat fully forward, whereupon we were both as miserable as Dobby the house elf. Please consider the rear seat suitable only for a “cursed child” or two.

En route to our subsequent destinations, I was repeatedly vexed by the touchpad user interface. Accurately placing the cursor on the infotainment screen by sliding a finger around on the console-mounted pad and then pressing to accept an input is a skill that has thus far eluded me. I suspect that owners not in possession of Harry’s wand or Hermione’s facility with spells will find it easiest to master the voice control system. Or you can bypass it all by using Waze and streaming music from a phone.

Most of the 500-plus miles we racked up on Harry’s new Lexus were on billiard-table-flat, poker-straight roads that were as fun and engaging as one of professor Cuthbert Binns’ History of Magic lectures. But when traveling between Estero and Bradenton, for some reason Waze routed us off of I-75 and onto state routes 31 and 70—the latter of which was straight enough and populated with just enough slow-moving trucks spaced just far enough apart to permit frequent passing blasts from 50 to 100 mph, each of which involved the transmission instantly downshifting from 10th to third gear and prompting another glorious mandrake shriek all the way to redline.

Wherever we drove or parked, the car drew the kind of attention Rubeus Hagrid would draw walking his three-headed cur Fluffy, which made us feel as famous as Harry Potter. The LC 500 is indeed a fabulous grand tourer—serenely quiet when you’re not whipping it, comfortable riding even on its forged 21s (a $2,650 indulgence), and as engagingly gorgeous to look at inside as it is outside.

Its broad stance left us wishing it could skinny up like the Knight Bus in many a parking space, and when climbing out—especially in the narrower spaces—we occasionally found ourselves muttering “Wingardium Leviosa,” hoping for a bit of magical levitation assistance out of the low-slung seats. But it truly was a magical week capped off by a wedding in the clouds that was surely just as fun and enchanting as that of Harry and Ginny or Hermione and Ron. And so it was with considerable sadness and gratitude that we nosed the LC 500 back into the Universal lot space marked “H. Potter.” You chose well, Harry.

Note: Some of the above account is fictitious, but the car, the 500-mile drive, and all related impressions really did happen.