Diary of a Little Woman | Gender roles — the great unequaliser

Sep 30

 

Dear Diary,

 

I am annoyed.

Extremely annoyed.

So annoyed that I must invent a new word for what I am feeling because annoyed sounds too casual.

 

This is what happened.

7am: Getting ready for school.

Vanaja Aunty and Ramesh Uncle were sitting at the dining table telling Appa some stupid story about a guruji who grants all wishes by just looking at the devotee’s feet. It seems when you go to the guruji to take blessings, you have to lift up your clothes a bit and show him your feet. Then whatever you ask for will come true. So silly. Only Vanaja Aunty will fall for all this.

“Bala! The experience was something else. I showed my feet to Guruji and prayed that Apoorva gets married into a good family. And that Siddharth gets a good job in some big IT company,” she said to Appa.

Now, Apoo Akka and Siddhu Anna are twins. So I asked Vanaja Aunty why she didn’t pray for the reverse — that Apoo Akka got a good job and Siddhu Anna got married.

“Enna da, Bala?” she said turning to Appa. “How can your daughter talk like this?”

Appa smiled like Lord Buddha and said, “Vanaja, why don’t you answer her instead? Maybe then she will stop talking like this.”

Appa so smart. I so lucky.

Vanaja Aunty made a face at him and turned towards me. She HAD to answer my question now. “My dear Nila. Girls in our family don’t go to office. They get married, have kids and stay at home to take care of their family. It’s the husband’s job to go to office and earn a living.” She made another face — this time at Amma. I have heard her complaining to Paati that Amma shouldn’t be allowed to work. Vanaja Aunty keeps boasting about how she is such an educated person. But like Najju Paati says, “That Vanaja is just another old-fashioned mami who thinks that wearing sunglasses and going to Singapore for vacations will make her one cool babe!”

This world is full of contradictions. (New word. Picked it up while watching the evening news debate.)

Anyway, I asked Vanaja Aunty why she sent Apoo Akka to college if she was anyway going to be married off. She made another face. All her faces are like the ones from those Tamil serials that Lakshmi Paati watches. “You’re still a little girl. Wait till you grow up,” was all she said. Can’t even come up with a proper reply, that stupid woman.

That was the first annoying thing. Being a woman, Vanaja Aunty should have the sense to treat Apoo Akka and Siddhu Anna equally. Ramesh Uncle is no less. He just sits quietly like one Tanjavur doll and nods his head to everything that his wife says.

Just before leaving for school, Appa pulled me aside. “Nila Kutti. I’m going to get your brother married off the day he turns 21. You can be single for as long as you like,” he whispered into my ears.

I don’t know if I want to be single forever. But I do know that I have the best-est Appa in the whole universe.

Then at lunch break, Poo, Rads and I were chilling on the stairs near the library when we heard Zoya Didi talking to her gang about how she is not being allowed to wear jeans and skirts anymore. Only salwar kurtas. That’s ridiculous. Zoya didi is just 16 and they have already started making such rules. I felt bad for her and wanted to give her a hug. But then she would know that we were eavesdropping.

On the bus back home, Chandra Miss yelled at Poo. Actually, it was Rohan’s fault. He only threw that paper ball at her. Poo didn’t do anything except shout at Rohan. Then Chandra Miss goes,”Pooja! Don’t shout like that! Behave like a girl.” I tried to defend Poo by telling Chandra Ma’am that Rohan started it.

“That’s fine. I’ll punish him. But girls really shouldn’t be shouting like that. It’s not good,” she scolded again.

I asked her why she kept saying girls shouldn’t shout. “Is it ok if boys shout?” I asked.

“Stop shouting, Nila,” Chandra Miss screamed. I was speaking in my normal voice. She was the one shouting.

During dinner Amma asked Shanky to get a glass of water for Appa. Again, Vanaja Aunty poked in with her gigantic nose. “Bala! How can you send your son to do all that. Ask Nila to go get you water. Boys shouldn’t be made to do housework.”

Appa just glared at Vanaja Aunty and made Shanky get water. “In our house we treat our son and daughter equally, Vanaja. If you have any problem with that then please keep it to yourself,” He said calmly.

Vanaja Aunty turned as red as the tomato in the salad. Amma and I had a tough time controlling our giggles. Shanky was annoyed that he was made to fetch water but when he saw us giggling, he also joined us. I don’t think he knew why we were giggling though.

Actually, I am not so annoyed anymore.

Yes, the world has more rules for girls than it does for boys. But I’ll worry about that another day. Today, I just want to thank god for giving me such a great family. Appa is the coolest. Amma is also pretty cool. Shanky is mostly annoying but he’s also a good sport.

And I have Najju Paati. She single-handedly makes up for all the characters in my life like Vanaja Aunty, Ramesh Uncle, Chandra Miss and that watchman in the next building who keeps staring at me weirdly everytime I go there to fetch the cricket ball.

Thank you Appa, Amma and Najju Paati. You guys are the best. And Shanky, you aren’t that bad either.

Yours thankfully

Nila